KELLY COLLAGE_Female Empowerment Brand

The Female Lifestyle

Empowerment Brand

(It's not a good thing.)

This page includes my definition of The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand + all my essays and blog posts explaining why it’s bad for women, our businesses and our culture.

flora-flowers

Definition:

A "perfect woman" archetype must comply with and embody in order to be deserving of rights and resources

AND

A marketing strategy that leverages social status and white privilege to create authority over other women.

KD – Square Images-07
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In Our Culture

Every Woman Is a Brand

line-down

Start here

Pop art vintage comic. A woman with a poster and place for text. Girl in retro style. Advertising

The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand. An introduction.

Somewhere, on the edge of consciousness, there is what I call a mythical norm, which each one of us within our hearts knows “that is not me.” In America, this norm is usually defined as white, thin, male, young, heterosexual, Christian, and financially secure. -...

Featured posts

Ixtapa, Mexico + John Rawls + No Pedi. Unthinkable now, right?

#tbt Toes in the Sand but NO PEDI. Also, The Beauty Myth then and now.

cartoon of 1950s man in suit with his feet propped up on table saying "it's not my problem" about the so-called "feminist pendulum"

Feminism, Femininity and The Swinging Pendulum. A Question for You.

The Context for The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brrand

Not Enough Compensation in the World

September 23 2019

nope, ‘Queen’ is not a feminist business model

welcome to your Sunday Love Letter. Before we get started, here's what's going on this week at www.kellydiels.com: I'm teaching an online workshop on Saturday ...

August 11 2019

The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand, Mental Triggers, and Weaponized Imperfection

Feminist Marketing Tool #811: Avoid Using Weaponized Imperfection or Leveraging Privilege to Build (Fake) Authority. If you haven’t seen this particular post, you’ve probably seen ...

June 9 2019

Who’s running our social media accounts? Us, or our social conditioning?

welcome to your Sunday Love Letter by Kelly Diels. I send these every Sunday by email and publish a few of them here, on my ...

July 30 2018

Dear Women’s Empowerment Coaches: Is Your Teacher’s Teacher a Men’s Rights Activist?

Note: The following essay is an excerpt of a chapter of the book I'm writing about The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand; I first published it as ...

April 27 2018

Sorry! The Lifestyle You Ordered is Currently Out of Stock

Graffiti by Banksy; photo by Bruce Krasting https://www.flickr.com/photos/bruce_krasting/7695349260 This feels like some anti-FLEB (Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand) awesomeness in graffiti form. It's by Banksy. So ...

April 14 2018

Empowerment Chapters for The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand

My book about The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand is organized in four parts. Part One is about the mandatory femininity women are obliged to perform ...

February 23 2018

Is the Voice Of Culture is Working Through You Without Your Consent?

"When I read your essay," she said, "I gotta admit, I felt personally called out." We were talking on the phone for the first time ...

October 25 2017

Feminist Marketing Tip #1025: Invest In Your Community

When I was first starting out online, I witnessed an influential woman using her platform to boost the signals of others (including mine). She tweeted ...

September 3 2017

How Culture-Makers Vanquish Perfectionism: Publish, Then Polish

You know I'm on a mission to extinguish the perfection imperative, right? Resisting perfectionism one of the ways culture-makers undermine white supremacy. It's also how ...

August 19 2017

The Wealthy Feminist

Can we talk about money? I've read this 30+ year old article about Gloria Steinem's once-precarious financial situation and her subsequent book deal several million ...

Every week, I send you a

Sunday Love Letter

I write them so that…

  1. You remember your culture-making power
  2. You have the inspiration + tools you need to grow a business that generates money AND justice

Let’s create a future in which we all flourish.

Are you in?

**Culture making = tiny acts of doing-it-differently**

Every day, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are making and remaking our culture.

Each of us makes a million tiny agreements at any given moment to go along with our culture and make things run smoothly.

A lot of the times, people disagree with the demands and dictates and practices of our culture, but swallow their voice and say nothing.

And even in that moment, in the internal dissonance and the absence of action, they are culture makers.

In that moment, they (we!) allow the over-culture to continue as it is, unimpeded.

We let the voice of culture speak through our mouths and use our bodies and lives in order to stabilize and regenerate itself.

And that reveals a huge opportunity: we can choose how to deliberately use our culture-making power.

Instead of letting an unjust culture flow through us, we can interrupt it — and we can make a new one.

And we do it with tiny, consistent, committed words + actions + experiments + contributions each day.

**Tiny acts of doing-it-differently are culture making.**

Tiny acts of doing-it-differently dislodge the web of cooperation that the unjust culture requires in order to continue functioning — and creates something new, instead.

For the future, and for right now.

Culture isn’t ‘out there’ or something that’s set in stone and unchanging.

Culture is living and organic; it’s in us; it acts on us; it moves through us…and we co-create it, every day.

And so we, the culture makers, have the power to disrupt it, reimagine it, and make a new one in which everyone flourishes.

Let's do that in a million tiny ways, every day.

Our tiny acts of doing-it-differently, every day, add up to a whole new world.

#WeAreTheCultureMakers

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

I'm Kelly Diels and I'm a #FeministBusiness coach and a culture maker. I help feminist entrepreneurs build the language & institutions of the future.

#changemaking #womensempowerment #empowerment #socialimpact #feministcoach #mindset⁠ #feministaf #feminism #socialjustice #feministfounders #entrepreneurialfeminist #bossbabe #buildingtheinstitutionsofthefuture #consciousbusiness #girlboss #goaldigger
...

Today I'm teaching my Money + Justice Workshop at 10 am - free!⁠

It's for everyone who's playing what I call 'the double game' -- striving to create a flourishing livelihood in the existing paradigm while also creating a whole new paradigm.⁠

***********⁠

If you've got mixed feelings about money, you're not alone -- and this workshop is designed to help.⁠

Former attendees often tell me this class dissolves unnecessary shame on contact :)⁠

Because the truth is, we're not bad with money. Our culture has been deliberately bad at distributing money to us.⁠

And...no more.⁠

Let's interrupt that pattern and create a whole new reality for ourselves and our communities.⁠

************⁠

If you can't make it live, there WILL be a recording...but you have to be signed up to get it.⁠

(There's an automation that helps me not have to send a gazillion things by hand.)⁠

Link in bio @kelly.diels to sign up.⁠

See you in a few hours!⁠

love + justice (and money!)⁠

Kelly
...

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!New affinity group inside #wearetheculturemakers

Janine Bertolo is leading ‘The Caucus of Crones’ for our members ages 50+
******

Posted @withregram • @janine.bertolo

It felt uncomfortable to ask for support in the We Are the Culture Makers (WATCM) 2021 container, to speak my truth and feel held in the magical love light of Kelly Diels’ cultivated community.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I discovered that I am not alone, that there are others who share my feelings and desires and feel the need for community around issues specific to ageing in a world that does not value elders.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am so proud an honoured to be moderating a new group within the Kelly Diels Culture Makers Group for members aged 50 and older - the Caucus of Crones (!!)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It is a container for cultivating leadership and authority around issues specific to age and ageing, a place for supporting each other, and creating resources for each that can be accessed by younger members, in the present and as they reach the threshold age for joining the group themselves.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We live in cultures that devalue and erase us as we age. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Caucus of Crones is a container for us to explore and dismantle ageism and its impacts that make us invisible and hypervisible all at the same time, and in all cases prevent being accepted, valued, and seen for our authentic selves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is culture making.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Caucus of Crones is the place where we resist ageism in all its destructive iterations. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Caucus of Crones is the place for celebrating, honoring who we are and how we’ve come this far, a place for stepping into our full power and agency as elders. It is the place for cultivating leadership and authority for elders in our community. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is culture making⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I can’t wait to see what we create together!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ps: don’t you just LOVE the graphic created by @flourishonline for the group? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#wearetheculturemakers⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
***⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm Janine, post-traumatic growth and somatic coach. I help people heal & find ease from trauma that gets stuck in the body & gets in the way of living fulfilled and authentic lives. Links in bio
...

There's a narrative in women's empowerment spaces encouraging us to be a "Queen" in our businesses and lives. ⁠

While I totally get -- and FEEL -- the need to channel queenly sovereign energy and use it to fortify ourselves as we navigate a culture that invalidates women at every turn, we need to be reaaaaaalllllly cautious about using "Queen" as a business model.⁠

⁠What being a "Queen" usually means, in the Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand narrative, is that a Queen delegates her overload tasks to other, lower-paid women.⁠

Voila! personal 'empowerment' for the Queen...⁠

...but no mention of how those who serve her also become queens in their lives???⁠

In other words...this queen metaphor/business model does NOT produce real empowerment. Instead, it produces ONE women who switches positions from prey to predator so she can personally flourish in an unjust system.⁠

I want something MORE for all of us. ⁠

I want us to change the rules and change our business practices and change the whole damn game so we can ALL flourish.⁠

I don't want there to be queens who thrive and servants who barely survive. And that's what those 'queenly' business practices give us.⁠

So, feeling queenly energy, sure; using queenly business practices, no.⁠

Because nope, 'Queen' is NOT a feminist business model.⁠

-----⁠
⁠I'm Kelly Diels and I'm a #FeministMarketing consultant. One of the first thing I do with clients is help them figure out their business model aka HOW THEY MAKE MONEY ( their pricing, their offer, their accessibility strategies, their time)...⁠

...and I do it through the lens of justice. #moneyandjustice⁠

#changemaking #womensempowerment #empowerment #socialimpact #feministeducator #feministcoach #feministcoaching #mindset⁠ #feministaf #feminism #socialjustice #feministbusiness #feministfounders #entrepreneurialfeminist #buildingtheinstitutionsofthefuture #emergent #consciousbusiness #emergentstrategy #girlboss #goaldigger
...

I trust you with power.

***

⁠Many of us believe, on a cellular level, that money + power = abuse.

Because that's what we've lived.⁠

Many fat women and women of colour and queer women and disabled folks and trans and non-binary folks (and, and, and) have experienced power being used abusively against us...⁠

...which often means that some of us are going to be wildly uncomfortable with power-building -- in all forms.⁠

Which raises a critical question for our lives: what will we think about ***ourselves*** if we earn money and power?⁠

***⁠
If you recoil from holding power or money even as you need them and explicitly seek them, please know that there is nothing wrong with you. This tension actually a sign that your sense of justice is finely honed.⁠

It means you don't want to become that which you oppose.⁠

This, obviously, is a very good thing. Let's be relieved that our moral compasses are working.⁠

And let's break the spell*. ⁠
(h/t @amandaklaird for this *language)⁠

***⁠
Here's how we break cultural spells and intervene in unconscious sequences and patterns:⁠

We surface them. Expose them. Make them conscious.⁠

To break the money-power-abuse spell, let's explicitly, consciously ask ourselves if what we have been conditioned believe about ourselves and power and money is true:⁠

🌺Is it true that if you have power, you will abuse it?⁠

🌺Is it true that if you have money and power, you will use it to exploit people?⁠

🌺Is it true that the only way to get money is to harm people?⁠

***⁠

When I inquired into my own beliefs about power and explicit asked myself, do I want to use money and power the way it's been used against me (To hurt people? To dominate? To hoard?)...⁠

...the answer is NOOOOOOOOOO.⁠

And so the spell is broken.⁠

***⁠

I trust you with power, money & resources.⁠

Let's get them, grow them, and use them to flourish -- personally & collectively.⁠

Because we are the culture makers.⁠

🌺🌺🌺

I'm Kelly Diels and I'm a #FeministMarketing consultant. I help feminist entrepreneurs & culture-makers make money AND justice.

PS liked this post? You should see my Sunday Love Letters 🙂
link in profile to subscribe
...

**Culture making = tiny acts of doing-it-differently**

Every day, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are making and remaking our culture.

Each of us makes a million tiny agreements at any given moment to go along with our culture and make things run smoothly.

A lot of the times, people disagree with the demands and dictates and practices of our culture, but swallow their voice and say nothing.

And even in that moment, in the internal dissonance and the absence of action, they are culture makers.

In that moment, they (we!) allow the over-culture to continue as it is, unimpeded.

We let the voice of culture speak through our mouths and use our bodies and lives in order to stabilize and regenerate itself.

And that reveals a huge opportunity: we can choose how to deliberately use our culture-making power.

Instead of letting an unjust culture flow through us, we can interrupt it — and we can make a new one.

And we do it with tiny, consistent, committed words + actions + experiments + contributions each day.

**Tiny acts of doing-it-differently are culture making.**

Tiny acts of doing-it-differently dislodge the web of cooperation that the unjust culture requires in order to continue functioning — and creates something new, instead.

For the future, and for right now.

Culture isn’t ‘out there’ or something that’s set in stone and unchanging.

Culture is living and organic; it’s in us; it acts on us; it moves through us…and we co-create it, every day.

And so we, the culture makers, have the power to disrupt it, reimagine it, and make a new one in which everyone flourishes.

Let's do that in a million tiny ways, every day.

Our tiny acts of doing-it-differently, every day, add up to a whole new world.

#WeAreTheCultureMakers

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

I'm Kelly Diels and I'm a #FeministBusiness coach and a culture maker. I help feminist entrepreneurs build the language & institutions of the future.

#changemaking #womensempowerment #empowerment #socialimpact #feministcoach #mindset⁠ #feministaf #feminism #socialjustice #feministfounders #entrepreneurialfeminist #bossbabe #buildingtheinstitutionsofthefuture #consciousbusiness #girlboss #goaldigger
...

Today I'm teaching my Money + Justice Workshop at 10 am - free!⁠

It's for everyone who's playing what I call 'the double game' -- striving to create a flourishing livelihood in the existing paradigm while also creating a whole new paradigm.⁠

***********⁠

If you've got mixed feelings about money, you're not alone -- and this workshop is designed to help.⁠

Former attendees often tell me this class dissolves unnecessary shame on contact :)⁠

Because the truth is, we're not bad with money. Our culture has been deliberately bad at distributing money to us.⁠

And...no more.⁠

Let's interrupt that pattern and create a whole new reality for ourselves and our communities.⁠

************⁠

If you can't make it live, there WILL be a recording...but you have to be signed up to get it.⁠

(There's an automation that helps me not have to send a gazillion things by hand.)⁠

Link in bio @kelly.diels to sign up.⁠

See you in a few hours!⁠

love + justice (and money!)⁠

Kelly
...

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!New affinity group inside #wearetheculturemakers

Janine Bertolo is leading ‘The Caucus of Crones’ for our members ages 50+
******

Posted @withregram • @janine.bertolo

It felt uncomfortable to ask for support in the We Are the Culture Makers (WATCM) 2021 container, to speak my truth and feel held in the magical love light of Kelly Diels’ cultivated community.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I discovered that I am not alone, that there are others who share my feelings and desires and feel the need for community around issues specific to ageing in a world that does not value elders.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am so proud an honoured to be moderating a new group within the Kelly Diels Culture Makers Group for members aged 50 and older - the Caucus of Crones (!!)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It is a container for cultivating leadership and authority around issues specific to age and ageing, a place for supporting each other, and creating resources for each that can be accessed by younger members, in the present and as they reach the threshold age for joining the group themselves.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We live in cultures that devalue and erase us as we age. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Caucus of Crones is a container for us to explore and dismantle ageism and its impacts that make us invisible and hypervisible all at the same time, and in all cases prevent being accepted, valued, and seen for our authentic selves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is culture making.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Caucus of Crones is the place where we resist ageism in all its destructive iterations. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Caucus of Crones is the place for celebrating, honoring who we are and how we’ve come this far, a place for stepping into our full power and agency as elders. It is the place for cultivating leadership and authority for elders in our community. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is culture making⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I can’t wait to see what we create together!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ps: don’t you just LOVE the graphic created by @flourishonline for the group? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#wearetheculturemakers⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
***⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm Janine, post-traumatic growth and somatic coach. I help people heal & find ease from trauma that gets stuck in the body & gets in the way of living fulfilled and authentic lives. Links in bio
...

There's a narrative in women's empowerment spaces encouraging us to be a "Queen" in our businesses and lives. ⁠

While I totally get -- and FEEL -- the need to channel queenly sovereign energy and use it to fortify ourselves as we navigate a culture that invalidates women at every turn, we need to be reaaaaaalllllly cautious about using "Queen" as a business model.⁠

⁠What being a "Queen" usually means, in the Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand narrative, is that a Queen delegates her overload tasks to other, lower-paid women.⁠

Voila! personal 'empowerment' for the Queen...⁠

...but no mention of how those who serve her also become queens in their lives???⁠

In other words...this queen metaphor/business model does NOT produce real empowerment. Instead, it produces ONE women who switches positions from prey to predator so she can personally flourish in an unjust system.⁠

I want something MORE for all of us. ⁠

I want us to change the rules and change our business practices and change the whole damn game so we can ALL flourish.⁠

I don't want there to be queens who thrive and servants who barely survive. And that's what those 'queenly' business practices give us.⁠

So, feeling queenly energy, sure; using queenly business practices, no.⁠

Because nope, 'Queen' is NOT a feminist business model.⁠

-----⁠
⁠I'm Kelly Diels and I'm a #FeministMarketing consultant. One of the first thing I do with clients is help them figure out their business model aka HOW THEY MAKE MONEY ( their pricing, their offer, their accessibility strategies, their time)...⁠

...and I do it through the lens of justice. #moneyandjustice⁠

#changemaking #womensempowerment #empowerment #socialimpact #feministeducator #feministcoach #feministcoaching #mindset⁠ #feministaf #feminism #socialjustice #feministbusiness #feministfounders #entrepreneurialfeminist #buildingtheinstitutionsofthefuture #emergent #consciousbusiness #emergentstrategy #girlboss #goaldigger
...