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Influences | Books

As Lianne Raymond says

These are my teachers, “known and unknown” (meaning they don’t necessarily know me nor would they necessarily agree with everything I say or do — and vice versa — but at critical points in my career, their work has fed me and become part of my flesh):

KD – Additional Instagram Templates-33

Here are some of people + books who have

grown me:

Dr. Barbara Bryant Solomon:

Whose social and academic work on black empowerment appears to be  one of the first articulations of “empowerment”; her textbook has been my touchstone.

Mr. Beech:

Who was the first teacher in my life to show me the gap between our democratic goals as a country and the harsh, oppressive realities (I did not take it kindly and I’m still mortified at my 14 year old self).

Lianne Raymond:

For being a feminist wise woman who knows things and has always sent resources my way and greeted me with compassion even when she doesn’t agree with my thinking or work.

Danielle LaPorte:

For seeing something in me nine years ago and championing me privately and publicly on before anyone knew of me or my work; and for materially helping me get started, online. I still get business because of her early support — and the significance of one woman using her influence and sharing her knowledge to help another woman develop a sovereign, sustainable livelihood can never be underestimated.

Dr. Lindo Bacon:

For their life-altering books, Health at Every Size and Body Respect (co-authored with Lucy Aphramor) and unending personal + professional generosity. HAES helped me stop hating myself and for this I am truly grateful.

Dr. Barbara Arniel:

For hiring me to be her research assistant while I was still an undergrad (!!) and mentoring me even before I realized that mentoring was a thing.

Toi Smith:

For her expert Online Business Management, her influence on the direction of my career, her unwavering friendship, and her capacity to be direct and say what needs to be said. That’s love and culture-making in action.

Gwynn Raimondi:

For opening me to the possibility of embodiment and helping me regulate my central nervous system on the daily and ESPECIALLY in times of trial (2017 was an unrelenting, 12 month inferno).

Jennifer McClanahan-Flint:

For coaching me into new culture making possibilities, for underlining the value in my analysis and the book I’m working on, forcing me to look at how many hours I *really* have available to work so that I finally saw the necessity of shifting my business model and raising my rates. What I learned with her emboldened me immeasurably in my culture making AND tripled my business income in a year.

Anna North:

For publishing me at Jezebel and Salon and being a possibility model in the professional world of words.

side-right

Vicki Saunders, CV Harquail, PK Mutch, Meghna Majmudar, Tanya Geisler, Pam Singh, Astarte Sands, Dawn Serra, Justine Musk, Erin Lee Kaufman,  Dr. Danusia Malina-DerbenUna de Boer

For being points-of-inspiration, friends, or mentors along the way– in person and from afar.

line-down

Thinkers, writers, speakers — culture makers! — who’ve formed me:

Chantal Mouffe, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, Gloria Steinem, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Maya Angelou, Rebecca Solnit, Kate Harding, Marianne Kirby, Melissa Toler, Roxane Gay, Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw, Tema Okun and Kenneth Jones, adrienne maree brown, Sarah Schulman, Lindy West, s.e. smith, Rukaiyah Adams, Sonya Renee Taylor, Naomi Wolf, Susan Faludi, Jia Tolentino, Cedar Barstow.

side-right
home-kelly-2

Can magazines be formative influences?

Because they have been:

Ms. Magazine and the early iteration of Sassy. But especially Ms. Magazine, my friend and feminist mentor since I was eleven years old.

KD – Floral Letters-41

prah

As a possibility model. Although sometimes I feel like Oprah should come with a warning label for her views on dieting and weight loss, I often say I worship in the house of Oprah. I’m only half-joking. I feel like I grew up with her show and it shaped me. Of course, like most of the “unknown teachers” on this list, she has no idea I exist.

line-down

S. Lawrence, S. Kelly, A. Young, J. Neufeld and F. Rostant:

For their love across the years. 

Dr. David Doolin:

For his friendship at a pivotal moment in my life, for helping me learn copywriting and trying to teach me about SEO. I say tried because I basically refused. Despite myself, I did absorb some critically useful stuff. I’m grateful.

Every week, I send you a

Sunday Love Letter

I write them so that…

  1. You remember your culture-making power
  2. You have the inspiration + tools you need to grow a business that generates money AND justice

Let’s create a future in which we all flourish.

Are you in?

Sometimes, the greatest culture making we do is never 'out there' for the whole world to see.⁠
⁠
Last January, a person I almost married reached out after more than 13 years of radio silence (he literally ghosted on our engagement) to apologize for his f*ckboi ways. He'd been doing personal spiritual work to decolonize his soul, and he felt called to make amends. I think he also had the intention of releasing me from any thoughts that what happened was my fault.⁠
⁠
This January, something similar happened with someone I've been estranged from for 5 years. The amount of bravery it took to reach out to me was COLLOSSAL. I don't know the backstory but I'm willing to bet this act of courage was the result of massive inner healing.⁠
⁠
The wild thing about both of these reach-outs was that each followed on the heels of specific coaching or therapy I'd been doing to free myself of needing them to do something in order for me...to be me.⁠
⁠
(Also...there's something about January that is NOT awful, if we're doing things like this with each other.)⁠
⁠
I've been doing that work myself. I've been confronting my own demons and looking in the mirror, and sometimes had to grieve what I saw there. I've been grappling with all the ways *I* was the villain in someone else's story. ⁠
⁠
My hope is that this brutal, healing work grows me & gives me peace. I hope it helps me have deeper, more consistent relationships. And I hope that it helps me show up even more lovingly and present for my children, and that they carry that forward into their lives, their relationships and maybe even their children one day.⁠
⁠
That's culture making.⁠
⁠
None of that will ever be a feature length film, or see a stage, or be on a NY Times Best Seller List. It's not going to go viral.⁠
⁠
But it's how spread the seeds for a future in which we all flourish. We heal wounds. We heal each other. We move in courage and love.⁠
⁠
Personal love is justice work, too.⁠
⁠
And it's never too late to start over.⁠
⁠
I'm starting the New Year over, in fact! The first 17 days were a blur. So let's begin again, better.⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#WeAreTheCultureMakers⁠
There's a reason I included WEEKLY live, guided meditations in We Are The Culture Makers 2022 and it's this: ⁠
⁠
In order to really know something, in our bones, it can't ONLY come from one direction. ⁠
⁠
We need to pick up the signals from many sources. We've got to receive the messages via our heads, our hearts, our bodies and our spirits.⁠
⁠
***⁠
We deserve to feel calm. We deserve to feel relief from anxiety and stress. ⁠
⁠
Even as we're growing our lives, growing our careers, changing our culture...our lives can't be a relentless grind. ⁠
⁠
There's got to be space and grace.⁠
⁠
🌸So that the knowledge of who you are -- A CULTURE MAKER -- seeps into your bones.⁠
⁠
🌸So that this knowingness forms a protective cloak that you carry with you everywhere.⁠
⁠
🌸And so that you're regularly relieving stress and calming your central nervous system. ⁠
⁠
This world can be hell on sensitive, thoughtful women and I want our daily experience in our own skins to change.⁠
⁠
***⁠
That's why I'm so delighted that yoga breathing & meditation teacher  Ntathu Allen leads these LIVE guided meditations for us each week.⁠
⁠
Because We Are The Culture Makers is NOT about work-work-work. ⁠
⁠
Gentleness and replenishment is part of the culture-making, power-building experience we're creating, together.⁠
⁠
love + justice⁠
⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
PS We Are The Culture Makers 2022 is low-cost online group coaching collective AND 100% PURE JET FUEL. Use it to power your life, your work, and your impact in the world. I invite you to learn more at the link in profile.⁠
⁠
PPS You can find Ntathu Allen at @yogainspiresyou
Wondering if you’re worthy, ⁠
over-giving ('tis the season)⁠
questioning if you belong at the table, ⁠
and feeling like you have to do everything yourself ⁠
⁠
are NOT your natural inclinations.⁠
⁠
They’re the voice of an unjust culture working through you without your consent.⁠
⁠
So is imposter complex.⁠
⁠
We doubt ourselves because we live in a woman-doubting culture. ⁠
⁠
And...no more.⁠
⁠
Let's change the channel.⁠
⁠
Let's unlearn this toxic social conditioning⁠
and reaffirm + revalidate ourselves...⁠
⁠
...so we can shrink our self-doubt and grow our power.⁠
⁠
Personally AND collectively.⁠
⁠
Because #WeAreTheCultureMakers⁠
⁠
:::::⁠
⁠
Please, in the midst of the pressure that can come with this time of year, take a moment to connect with someone who sees your power and sincerity. Let them tell you great things about yourself. Really hear it. ⁠
⁠
And, if you can, do it for someone else. Get on the phone and praise the sh*t out of them.⁠
⁠
We're often running on empty tanks and being seen and affirmed with sincere & true words of encouragement are pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Let's fly. ⁠
⁠
Or land the planes that have been in the air too long.⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
#feministmindset #leadwithsoul #feministcoaching #embodiedleadership #womeninthearena #breakingcycles #darkbeforethedawn
We Are The Culture Makers 2022 is...⁠
⁠
🔥One part low-cost, online, group coaching...⁠
⁠
🔥One part encouragement circle where we get to know each other and find opportunities to ask for and receive support...⁠
⁠
🔥One part feminist analysis....⁠
⁠
🔥One part tools, strategies + tips for navigating -- and changing -- our lives and world...⁠
⁠
🔥And 100% pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Use it to fuel your life, your career, your relationships and your impact.⁠
⁠
Are you in? I invite you to learn more using the link in profile. ⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#feministtraining #feministcoaching⁠ #feministselfhelp ⁠
#resourcesforwomen #womencoachingwomen #coachingforsuccess #womeninthearena #confidencemindset⁠
#feministvalues #groundedcoaching #feministcoach #settingboundariesboundary #peoplepleasing #womensempowermentcoach #selfcoaching

Sometimes, the greatest culture making we do is never 'out there' for the whole world to see.⁠
⁠
Last January, a person I almost married reached out after more than 13 years of radio silence (he literally ghosted on our engagement) to apologize for his f*ckboi ways. He'd been doing personal spiritual work to decolonize his soul, and he felt called to make amends. I think he also had the intention of releasing me from any thoughts that what happened was my fault.⁠
⁠
This January, something similar happened with someone I've been estranged from for 5 years. The amount of bravery it took to reach out to me was COLLOSSAL. I don't know the backstory but I'm willing to bet this act of courage was the result of massive inner healing.⁠
⁠
The wild thing about both of these reach-outs was that each followed on the heels of specific coaching or therapy I'd been doing to free myself of needing them to do something in order for me...to be me.⁠
⁠
(Also...there's something about January that is NOT awful, if we're doing things like this with each other.)⁠
⁠
I've been doing that work myself. I've been confronting my own demons and looking in the mirror, and sometimes had to grieve what I saw there. I've been grappling with all the ways *I* was the villain in someone else's story. ⁠
⁠
My hope is that this brutal, healing work grows me & gives me peace. I hope it helps me have deeper, more consistent relationships. And I hope that it helps me show up even more lovingly and present for my children, and that they carry that forward into their lives, their relationships and maybe even their children one day.⁠
⁠
That's culture making.⁠
⁠
None of that will ever be a feature length film, or see a stage, or be on a NY Times Best Seller List. It's not going to go viral.⁠
⁠
But it's how spread the seeds for a future in which we all flourish. We heal wounds. We heal each other. We move in courage and love.⁠
⁠
Personal love is justice work, too.⁠
⁠
And it's never too late to start over.⁠
⁠
I'm starting the New Year over, in fact! The first 17 days were a blur. So let's begin again, better.⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#WeAreTheCultureMakers⁠
There's a reason I included WEEKLY live, guided meditations in We Are The Culture Makers 2022 and it's this: ⁠
⁠
In order to really know something, in our bones, it can't ONLY come from one direction. ⁠
⁠
We need to pick up the signals from many sources. We've got to receive the messages via our heads, our hearts, our bodies and our spirits.⁠
⁠
***⁠
We deserve to feel calm. We deserve to feel relief from anxiety and stress. ⁠
⁠
Even as we're growing our lives, growing our careers, changing our culture...our lives can't be a relentless grind. ⁠
⁠
There's got to be space and grace.⁠
⁠
🌸So that the knowledge of who you are -- A CULTURE MAKER -- seeps into your bones.⁠
⁠
🌸So that this knowingness forms a protective cloak that you carry with you everywhere.⁠
⁠
🌸And so that you're regularly relieving stress and calming your central nervous system. ⁠
⁠
This world can be hell on sensitive, thoughtful women and I want our daily experience in our own skins to change.⁠
⁠
***⁠
That's why I'm so delighted that yoga breathing & meditation teacher  Ntathu Allen leads these LIVE guided meditations for us each week.⁠
⁠
Because We Are The Culture Makers is NOT about work-work-work. ⁠
⁠
Gentleness and replenishment is part of the culture-making, power-building experience we're creating, together.⁠
⁠
love + justice⁠
⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
PS We Are The Culture Makers 2022 is low-cost online group coaching collective AND 100% PURE JET FUEL. Use it to power your life, your work, and your impact in the world. I invite you to learn more at the link in profile.⁠
⁠
PPS You can find Ntathu Allen at @yogainspiresyou
Wondering if you’re worthy, ⁠
over-giving ('tis the season)⁠
questioning if you belong at the table, ⁠
and feeling like you have to do everything yourself ⁠
⁠
are NOT your natural inclinations.⁠
⁠
They’re the voice of an unjust culture working through you without your consent.⁠
⁠
So is imposter complex.⁠
⁠
We doubt ourselves because we live in a woman-doubting culture. ⁠
⁠
And...no more.⁠
⁠
Let's change the channel.⁠
⁠
Let's unlearn this toxic social conditioning⁠
and reaffirm + revalidate ourselves...⁠
⁠
...so we can shrink our self-doubt and grow our power.⁠
⁠
Personally AND collectively.⁠
⁠
Because #WeAreTheCultureMakers⁠
⁠
:::::⁠
⁠
Please, in the midst of the pressure that can come with this time of year, take a moment to connect with someone who sees your power and sincerity. Let them tell you great things about yourself. Really hear it. ⁠
⁠
And, if you can, do it for someone else. Get on the phone and praise the sh*t out of them.⁠
⁠
We're often running on empty tanks and being seen and affirmed with sincere & true words of encouragement are pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Let's fly. ⁠
⁠
Or land the planes that have been in the air too long.⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠
#feministmindset #leadwithsoul #feministcoaching #embodiedleadership #womeninthearena #breakingcycles #darkbeforethedawn