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Bio/About Page

What’s the most visited – and therefore  the most important – page on your website?
For all the effort we put into blogging, it’s probably not a blog post…
…it’s probably your About page. (Also known as your bio).
And the thing about most bio pages is this: they’re almost always boring.
And ineffective.
Here are the most common sins:
  • CV-ism: contains a lot of distant, bland, professional language and chronological rather than competency-demonstrating sentences like “and then I went to this school, and then I got this job, at which place I performed these duties…”. If this bio wore clothes it would be a beige khakis. Utterly inoffensive, utterly unmemorable, utterly unacceptable.
  • Third person: come on, we all know you wrote it. (Or hired someone to write it!) Own it. Say I. Aye? Aye.
  • Self-deprecating: if you’re Oprah Winfrey, Desmond Tutu or Bill Gates; if you have a gazillion dollars, a Nobel prize or are a household name; then and only then may you mock or be modest about your qualifications, competencies or history. (Unless said self-deprecation demonstrates your abilities as a case-in-point.) So the bio that suggests a lack of confidence and that you’re not convinced that you deserve business? NO. No matter how quirky and cute.
  • Overstating and empty: “We aim to be global leaders in the knick knack industry”. What does that even mean? And is it true? Do people who say those things really want to be global leaders? Or do they just want to build a profitable business in dust collectors? Please don’t do this. Be real. Say what it is you aim to accomplish.
  • All About Me-ism: Actually, your bio is about you  but it’s also not about you at all. It’s about what you can do for your people. It’s a sales page (but only in the heart-centred, non-smarmy sense).
And that’s why it’s a great idea to INVEST in a screamingly effective bio. Because your bio is often the last thing a client reads before deciding yes, yes, YES, I must work with this person. Your bio is the pivot point between yes and no, between you and the other guy.
And when someone else interviews you extensively (which is what a great bio writer MUST do) they see the patterns in your history, practice and skills and can articulate your abilities and qualifications in a gracious, compelling, convincing way…
…a way that often you’d be too self-conscious or modest to do yourself.
Whilst avoiding the most common sins of the average bio.
Because you’re not average nor are you running an average business.
So that’s why you need a bio writer. Because your bio must not be average. It must be miraculous.
And bold, badass, beautiful bios are my specialty. If I do say so myself. (Call or e-mail me and I’ll show you some samples of badass bios I wrote for bold ‘n beautiful people.) So please go ahead and hire me to write you a bio that rocks your (online) world.
Bio (includes extensive interviewing but it’s fun, fabulous and totally effective) $450
 

Bio page = $450. 50% due in advance, 50% due upon completion


Web copy

$250 per page (350 – 400 words)

Ghost-written Blog Posts

$150 per post (or less if you commit to several at a time)

Blog Post Packages

 

 

 

 

 

 

Red Shoe Blogger Sessions

Less robotic recycling of content. Less by-the-numbers blogging. More passion, more style, more heart, more art.

That’s being a Red Shoe Blogger.

Red shoe blogging – passionate, engaging, soulful writing – is how you make your mark in this online game.

And I can help you with that by substantively reviewing three of your pieces or your whole platform and providing artful, heart-full feedback and strategy to amp the whole thing up.

  • Want me to show you how to sex up your writing? (Hot writing makes your site sticky. Bad pun totally intended.)
  • Want to learn how to work with the way people read, online, but still have your words sing? (I’m talking about typography, emphasis, artful scannability, voice)
  • Want to  know how to get your pieces on A-list blogs?
  • Wanna get…good?

Call me. I give good…advice (and an MP3 of our call). $300 Add to Cart

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Editing

~$30  per hour depending on the project (I’m happy to quote a flat fee)

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The  Unsexy Stories

This series is composed of my ’unsexy stories’ and I’ve called them that because they contain graphic sex – a little or a lot – but they aren’t about getting off. They’re about life. They’re windows into hearts and loves and marriages and maybe even our confused culture that strips sex of its transformative powers and reduces it to titillation and transaction.

These stories are too pornographic – that’s not really the right word, because again, they contain sex but they’re not necessarily hawt - for regular Cleavage reading so I’ve located them just beyond the red velvet rope. If you want to come inside, there’s a nominal, variable cover charge. I want you to be sure you want to be there, doing this, reading this. Consent, baby, consent.

With these Rings: Three Rings, Three Marriages, Several Ends, One Beginning. 2687 words, two sentences of sex.

Love is a Greater Danger: We sometimes think casual sex is destructive, but only love – and love-sex – can break your heart. 365 words, almost all of it graphic. And sad.

Cover Charge for both stories: $5Add to Cart

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