pssst…just so you know: I’m selling a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ herein. I had planned to time off, but my loverloverman is home (gotta love Canada and parental leave!) and my baby is angelic and easy, and I’m jonesing to work. So I’m going to work. (Hopefully for you, dearest Reader.) But I only want to do my favourite things – which raises a whole series of questions, starting with why would I build a business around anything else???? – which in turn means for the next little while, I’ll only be offering Bio/About Pages, Red Shoe Blogger sessions, and Naked Branding (more coming – ahem- on that one, later).

And bios are one of my very favourite things. That might not matter to you…except that what that means for you is that I write really, really great bios. I have a bit of a formula for them, and it goes like this: write bios that stir.

Stir.

And inspire.

Over and over again.

Because what’s the most visited – and therefore  the most important – page on your website?

For all the effort we put into blogging, it’s probably not a blog post…

…it’s probably your About page. (Also known as your bio).

And the thing about most bio pages is this: they’re almost always boring.

And ineffective.

Here are The Most Common Sins of The Boring Bio:

• CV-ism: contains a lot of distant, bland, professional language and chronological rather than competency-demonstrating sentences like “and then I went to this school, and then I got this job, at which place I performed these duties…”. If this bio wore clothes it would be clad in beige khakis. Utterly inoffensive, utterly unmemorable, utterly unacceptable.
• Third person: come on, we all know you wrote it. (Or hired someone to write it!) Own it. Say I. Aye? Aye.
• Self-deprecating: if you’re Oprah Winfrey, Desmond Tutu or Bill Gates; if you have a gazillion dollars, a Nobel prize or are a household name; then and only then may you mock or be modest about your qualifications, competencies or history. (Unless said self-deprecation demonstrates your abilities as a case-in-point.) So the bio that suggests a lack of confidence and that you’re not convinced that you deserve business? NO. No matter how quirky and cute.
• Overstating and empty: “We aim to be global leaders in the knick knack industry”. What does that even mean? And is it true? Do people who say those things really want to be global leaders? Or do they just want to build a profitable business in dust collectors? Please don’t do this. Be real. Say what it is you aim to accomplish.
• All About Me-ism: Actually, your bio is about you  but it’s also not about you at all. It’s about what you can do for your people. It’s a sales page (but only in the heart-centred, non-smarmy sense).

And that’s why it’s a great idea to INVEST in a screamingly effective bio. Because your bio is often the last thing a client reads before deciding yes, yes, YES, I must work with this person. Your bio is the pivot point between yes and no, between you and the other guy.

And when someone else interviews you extensively (which is what a great bio writer MUST do) they see the patterns in your history, practice and skills and can articulate your abilities and qualifications in a gracious, compelling, convincing way…

…a way that often you’d be too self-conscious or modest to do yourself.

Whilst avoiding the most common sins of the average bio.

Because you’re not average nor are you running an average business.

So that’s why you need a bio writer. Because your bio must not be average. It must be miraculous.

And bold, badass, beautiful bios are my specialty. If I do say so myself.

(Call or e-mail me and I’ll show you some samples of badass bios I wrote for other bold ‘n beautiful people.)

So please go ahead and hire me to write you a bio that rocks your (online) world.

Badass Bio (includes extensive interviewing but it’s fun, fabulous and totally effective) $450