Sunday School for Sentences #13: How to Write an Intimate Cosmology of Cheesecake, Cheesecake Shots (or not) and Shoplifting

“You look so good,” he tells me, from both 2,700 kilometres and mere centimetres away. He’s on-screen, via Skype and satellite from somewhere near the Arctic Circle. “You’re beautiful.”

It’s 3am. I wasn’t prepared for a late-night video session. I was prepared for bed – in fact I was in bed – complete with bed head and sleepy eyes sans mascara. And that’s how I respond to his appreciation. With denial. With a verbal inventory of my beauty sins: My hair’s a mess, I’m not wearing makeup (or clothes!).

So he takes a video snap shot and sends it to me so I can see what he sees.

I am seriously rethinking the blonde streak in my fringe. Promise.

And I do. Although I could make you a list of everything I don’t like about this picture of me, I see. I see shiny skin. I see sweetness. I see a woman soft with love for a man who is very far away.

And that’s sexy. Sexy isn’t (only) preparation, occasion, fishnets and false eyelashes. It’s bare skin, bared shoulders, naked soul. It’s eye to eye. It can even be screen to screen. It’s 3am.

It’s ordinary.

And, sometimes – lots of times, especially when you want to capture concepts and intimate cosmologies – that’s the most wrenching way to write.

Take for example, the seemingly mandatory line in nearly every online dating profile: “I like walks on the beach…”. Bullshit. Is that how you live? Daily walks at sunset in the sand?

Don’t tell me your fantasies. Tell me your reality. That’s what I will love. That’s what I want to read.

That’s why readers don’t skip dialogue. Because it’s ordinary. It’s what people do. They don’t wax poetic about beaches and beech leaves and willow trees. They talk to each other.

And so, if you must laud the landscape, do it the way Berliners do. Name an astonishingly pretty promenade and avenue of six lanes of traffic sheltered and shaded by four rows of arching Linden trees something disconcertingly literal, like “Unter den Linden”, or “Under the Lindens”.

Because that’s poetry. That’s the poetics of practicality.

Or, if you’re writing about love, wondering about how to answer that eternal question, “Who knows how to make love stay?” – honestly, it’s such a pressingly regular search for me that I’ve created a Google alert for the topic – stay away from the stars and the moon and words like “eternity.” Go practical. Go boringly ordinary. What do you really love? Talk cheesecake to me, baby:

Tell love you are going to the Junior’s deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay. – Tom Robbins

When you want to write about the qualities of a culture – business or national – ground your airy ideals by referring to the values of a magazine or movement as the “aspect and furniture of the establishment.” When you’re trying to capture the essence of a nation – if such a thing is even possible – screw history. Embrace aphorisms and obsessions. Talk shite. Literally.

(And read Vanity Fair. Every edition is a lesson in practiced, polished and inventive writing. God bless atheist Christopher Hitchens, and, if you’ve learned my “thread the grommets/lace the corset” structure, the set-up, follow-through and end of “It’s the Economy, Dummkopf!” by Michael Lewis is a superb example of what Imma talkin’ about.)

The rule: to write convincingly about concepts, go gutteral. Cheesy, cheesecakey, practical, literal, boring, ordinary.

And the results will be extraordinary.

——-

My houseguest, the famed Stephen J Kelly of London and unrepentant wearer of my infamous PORN t-shirt, told me about his love for the Unter den Linden and, upon his return from a tour of Victoria, brought me blueberry cheesecake from John’s Place. See? Writing is nothing more than theft, but it’s not even a grand felony. It’s shoplifting trinkets. You steal from your life.

———–

Sunday School for Sentences will be a sixteen-part series. Missed one? Here they are:

  • Prologue: God, Sex and Dazzling Sentences
    1. Sunday School for Sentences #1: Explain the Expected in Unexpected Ways
    2. Sunday School for Sentences #2: The (Textual) Reverse Cowgirl
    3. Sunday School for Sentences #3: Object Lessons (from Kanye West and JD Salinger)
    4. Sunday School for Sentences #4: How to Give Good Quote
    5. Sunday School For Sentences #5: Why You Should Write Bad Poetry
    6. Sunday School for Sentences #6: Two Damn Fine Writing Tips
    7. Sunday School for Sentences #7: There Are No Magic Words
    8. Sunday School for Sentences #8: How To Execute a Climax or Series of Climaxes. I’m talking About Writing. Mostly.
    9. Sunday School for Sentences #9: Thread the Grommets, Lace the Corset, Feed the Rabbits
    10. Sunday School For Sentences #10 – Work It
    11. Sunday School for Sentences #11: The Pigs In Space Edition
    12. Sunday School for Sentences #12: Screw SEO. I Write (Wackadoo Titles) for PEOPLE, Not Search Engines. And So Should You.
    13. Sunday School for Sentences #13: How to Write an Intimate Cosmology of Cheesecake, Cheesecake Shots (or not) and Shoplifting
    14. Sunday School for Sentences #14: What Picasso And Dave Chappelle Know about Writing. For Realz. 

    darling, get thee an authentically canned speech (or a whole set of ‘em)

    Practiced isn’t false. Rehearsed isn’t inauthentic. Preparation is a peace-building gift to yourself and to others.

    (And so is style. A friend of mine, remarking upon a mutual acquaintance who is sartorially splendid – her undeniably modern yet dandy-inspired ensembles are detailed and dapper - said: “Her style makes you feel special. Like, all of that is for me?!”)

    That’s why canned speeches are like canned peaches: delicious.

    Except no one needs canned peaches.

    But we all need canned speeches. For business, elevators, interviews, first impressions, cocktail parties, first dates…

    …and even predictably and potentially awkward conversations with intimates.

    And having a practiced patter doesn’t mean you’re inauthentic. Instead, it means you’re ready to give good convo. It means you’re able to turn potentially fraught interactions into amusing and often surprising connections. It means you invite connection.

    To wit, an example. A deeply personal one.

    After a failed attempt to see The Help (sold out, alas) my generous mama mediated my disappointment by treating me, my house-guest and my sister for drinks. They ordered margaritas while I pondered my pregnancy-induced deprivation. I wanted alcohol. I wanted something festive adorned with a tiny paper umbrella and a sense of occasion. I may have said so (I don’t ponder deprivation with a lot of discretion) whilst resentfully muttering  “I’ll probably have to have a Shirley Temple.”

    And so, when the waitress took our order, I asked for her advice. I said, “I can’t have any alcohol, but I want a fancy-schmancy fun and frivolous drink. What do you recommend?”

    She paused, then offered, hesitantly, “Maybe a Shirley Temple?”

    I had a Shirley Temple.

    There was no little stick with a cherry, no umbrella, no bedazzled orange peels. It was loudly disappointing. Or maybe that was me being loudly disappointed.

    I digress.

    Confession 1: I have a raw spot about being pregnant and unmarried. Not because it conflicts with my moral values or I’m disappointed that my loverloverman hasn’t offered up an entirely unromantic shotgun wedding, but because I’m continually anticipating judgement.

    Confession 2: I have an even rawer spot about the imminent prospect of having three children with two different men. The unmarried thing compounds it. I feel quite exposed.

    So, my darlings, do you sense a potential flashpoint?

    Back to drinks. We’re talking about my girls, the baby, baby names. My sister noted that the children will have to go to different schools because, based on their paternity, my girls have a Charter right to an education in French and therefore attend a Francophone school. The new baby’s papa is not Francophone so he’ll not be allowed to attend the same school.

    I hadn’t thought about that. My sister was right. She was observing reality. She was utterly inoffensive in intent and delivery, and I wasn’t put out at all. But my raw spots tingled – not from injury. From contact. As the kids these days say, that’s my shit.

    And then my mom, in an equally utterly inoffensive way, noted that all of my children will have different last names. Again true, and by choice – my first two daughters have the  same daddy and we deliberately chose to give them similar but different surnames. But when you add baby #3 with a third surname fathered by a different man to whom I am not married…

    …and…

    Raw spot. Contact. Ouch.

    Confession #3: In my younger, more tempestuous days, like last month, I would have taken this observation as not a slight but a grievous injury complete with malicious intent. And I would have reared up like a wounded bear and used my fearsome claws, which is to say my words, to carve something  irreversibly damaging into the psyche of my mother who intended and offered no harm.

    But.

    I recently read a Salon piece about a married couple, Cecilia Jethe and Christopher Ryan, who co-authored Sex at Dawn, a book examining monogamy via anthropology – and reframing some evolutionary theories of sexuality along the way, hallelujah [1] - and was struck by their sensibility. Clearly, once the book was published, they’d be doing media interviews. Obviously, since they are married and writing about monogamy, they would be asked about their own marriage. It only made sense to be prepared. So they prepared an answer that was both informative and unsalacious: “Our relationship is informed by our research.”

    Brilliant. Boundary-setting. Marriage is sacred and the details of their intimate lives are theirs to share, if they care to. Or care not to.

    Imagine though, if they hadn’t prepared an answer and just hoped no one would articulate the question we’re all thinking and wondering. They would have been unsurprisingly surprised and perhaps even rawly offended when the question inevitably came up, over and over again. The interviews would have been a trial. The answers would have been worse. They could have come off as prickly and reactive.

    Possibly I know a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ about prickly and reactive and raw.

    But, because I had read that piece – and because I regularly preach to my Red Shoe Blogger peeps the importance of an elevator speech – I didn’t go grizzly when people brushed by my invisible scrapes.

    Instead, I quipped, “I like to err on the side of trashy.” And I laughed, for real.

    And so did everyone else.

    And no fragile egos were flayed in the making of a delightful evening.

    ———-

    1. Yo, God Bless Darwin. Yay, evolution. However evolutionary psychology, in my extravagant opinion, is more often used to justify contemporary and hind-sightedly hierarchical gender relations than explain anything and can kiss my fat ‘n fabulous ass.

    2. You don’t have to be promoting a book or a business to prepare artful, amusing and invitational responses to predictable inquiries. Having ready answers doesn’t mean you’re a great, big phony. It means you’re prepared not to be a skinless aggressor/defender who attacks and alienates the people you love.

    3. Elevator Speech tip #1: Get one. You’re not self-aggrandizing, you’re giving people an opportunity to understand you. And, done heartfully and artfully, you’re also creating an invitation to meaningful conversation. You’re givomg someone an opportunity to ask questions and really connect.

    4. Elevator Speech tip#2: Thanks to a tip from my magnificent friend Astarte Sands I regularly recommend the Wow, How, Now approach to my Red Shoe Bloggers. Watch it and work it – because it does work. Beautifully.

    5. Elevator Speech tip #3: It’s critical. It’s how you present yourself in the world. It’s more important than a business card (I don’t even have a business card). And so it’s worth investing in. And so if you’re struggling to define and practice your magnetic, compelling, follow-up and meaning-inducing pitch, you must work with Dyana Valentine. Her Pitch Perfect (she has a wildly useful self-guided program as well as a catalytic one-on-one pitch-perfecting phone session and an intensive workshop that produces not one but several multi-purpose speeches) is, well, purrrrfect. I regularly, wholeheartedly and enthusiastically recommend her to my peeps.

    And to you.

    and the baby will not be a cat

    “I found out today that the baby will be a boy. How do you feel about that?” I ask both of them, but I’m looking at Sophie.

    Sophie’s thrilled. “I feel great. I always wanted a brother, especially a teenage brother.”

    “He’s going to be a baby, not a teenager.” The default position of motherhood is hope-dasher/porter and splasher of buckets of cold water.

    “I know,” she says, “I’m just saying a teenage brother would be perfect. But a baby brother is good too. I’m so excited!”

    “Lola, how do you feel about us having a baby boy?” This is quicksand. I can predict the contents of her reaction but not the precise details of her reply. But I know it will be…remarkable.

    Lola sighs elaborately. “I really wished we’d get a cat.”

    Of course she does. This is going better than I expected. ”But we’re having a baby, not a cat. And F and and I are thinking his name will be Theo. What do you think about that?”

    “Theo rhymes with Cleo. How about Cleo?” Lola offers.

    “We had a cat named Cleo before you were born, Lola.” Sophie says, helpfully/unhelpfully.

    “We’re not naming your brother after a cat,” I say. I’m quite firm about this.

    “Then how about Leo?” Lola asks.

    Again with the hope-dashing. Mama, thy name is pessimist. “The baby. Is not. A cat.”

    ————–

    Lola has since reconciled herself, delightfully and with great anticipation, to the species of baby that will soon populate our home and our lives. Now she greets people not with “Hello!” but with “My mommy has a baby in her tummy and it’s a BOY!”

    know thy purpose

    I looked into the face of faith – and grief - and it was beautiful.

    And it was awful.

    It is awful. Indescribably.

    But she -  a family friend and mother of a young man who drowned last week at a lake just 50 feet from shore, 50 feet from the eyes and arms of his waiting wife and five year old son  – held my gaze and told me that in the days before his death, he was joyous, so joyful, filled with joy.

    “He told me he knew his purpose. He knew what he was supposed to do. He told me he knew his mission, why he was here.”

    He had a family, a son, a wife, a life.

    And, finally, a purpose. And that gave him joy.

    And it gives his mother peace.

    She has faith he is in a better place. And that was his purpose.

    And that’s probably the truth: knowing and declaring our purpose is a form of heaven.

    But  discovering, admitting, acknowledging, accepting and activating our purpose is not a mystical process. I suspect most of us know what we are here to do, but we tamp down that audacious vision because it’s not practical, or no one else has done it, or who are we to do it?

    Or, how do we do it? How is that thing even possible?

    It’s one tiny task, one insightful inquiry, one compelling truth at a time. As my sweetie says of commitment, it’s not one grand decision that alters the sweep of time (though that resolution can be a crucial ingredient), it’s the daily decisions. It’s the decision to wake up and get up every day and do it, even though you’re tired, it’s hard, and there’s no glory (yet).

    And that thing might not be externally glorious. You might never be lauded for it. There are millions of working poor living heroically, honestly, persistently, without applause. There are frustrated, frazzled parents who get by on next-to-no cheerleading.

    But doing your best by your family is magnificent. And that can be a purpose.

    That’s a truth I’ve been fighting about myself. I’m a blazing feminist and all-out champion of women owning themselves, their ambitions, their careers. I’m lit up by stories of women CEOs, pioneers and trailblazers. But all I want to do is adore my partner, raise my babies, and write (preferably best-sellers, but any form of writing for an audience will do, marvelously). I don’t take business or money or even career that seriously. I’m serious about developing my craft but that’s a minor occupation in comparison to my devotion to my man.

    And that feels like a shameful thing to say: that I am, at heart and with primal purpose, the woman whom, in my twenties, I despaired of, criticized, and tried desperately not to be. Motherfucking Betty Crocker. With a pen.

    But that’s who I am. Lover. Mother. Writer. And knowing that is knowing my purpose and there’s expansive, directive clarity there.

    And faith.

    Because we only have a limited number of days and years – my friend’s son only had 31 - on this earth, in this life.

    Let’s live them well and fully. Divinely. With purpose.

    These Boots are Made for Walking…All Over Smithers, BC

    In the airport, a beautiful man eyeballs me. He’s tall, broad-shouldered, blonde, with a weathered, tanned visage. The sharp planes of his face are softened by dimples. Everything about him suggests he has mischievious eyes. I’d know if I made eye contact.

    If this was a Harlequin moment, I’d be the shy city girl entranced by his rugged, rural masculinity. But this is not a scene from a romance novel and no one would ever accuse me of being shy. Still, I’m avoiding his eyes.

    He’s wearing what appears to be an Ed Hardy t-shirt, tucked in (!) to jeans belted high and tight by an oversized, ornate, mixed-metal belt buckle screaming “rodeo champ”. The two-tone silver and gold echoes the metallic tattoo print on his honey-coloured shirt which in turn matches his caramel-coloured cowboy boots.

    I sift through the sands of memory for the last time I saw a man in cowboy boots with surprise realize it’s an annual occurence. Each year there’s a rodeo weekend near my home and although the event has a history of real wrangling, now it’s mainly an excuse for suburban hoochies to publicly parade in daisy dukes, bikinis, and pristine pink cowboy boots. There are real cowboy and cowgirls, though, with boots made for more than walking the walk of shame. I think. Maybe. I don’t know for certain because I rarely go to rodeo weekend.

    And so although this man is handsome, all I can think is, I can’t even talk to you with that belt and those boots.

    ***

    I’m not wearing boots. I’m wearing a wide-skirted, small-waisted dress and four-inch espradilles with ribbons that tie around my ankles. I’m looking pretty because I’m on my way to see my sweetie, who’s making a drastic and dramatic career change. He’s in Smithers, a northern mountain town, training his scissor hands – for twenty years, he’s been a hair stylist – to drill. I’m writing travel pieces. So I’m travelling. To Smithers, BC. To see him.

    He called me the moment he arrived. From the tarmac. “It’s incredible,” he tells me. “The mountain is right here and it’s amazing. Beautiful. You won’t believe it,” he says. “There’s snow on the mountain but the sun is shining.”

    It’s April and officially spring. “The snow is gone,” my man later promises. He’s been walking around in a t-shirt and hoodie and so yes, dresses and heels will be just fine. And so I’m on my way, to see my man and this mountain and this mountain town.

    ***

    In the surprisingly long security line, a warm-eyed Aboriginal man turns around. He smiles at me. “Can you believe this?” he asks. He’s wearing cowboy boots. My western wear count has gone from an annual to a bi-hourly event. He’s going to Smithers. So am I. “Maybe we’ll be sitting together,” he says with another smile.

    We do not sit together. Instead, I sit beside Sharon. Her hair is the exact shade that my hairstylist aka my city-man-turned-mountain-man was planning to colour mine: a very dark red-brown with a platinum peekaboo streak. Sharon’s 38. I’m 38. She has two girls. So do I. She’s passionate about art, music, culture. And Smithers. A long-time resident, she knows it and its people well. She even knows that the pilot and co-pilot of our plane are father and son. Although Air Canada, a larger commercial airline, also flies into Smithers, Sharon tells me she prefers Hawkair because its pilots are experienced locals who’ve been flying into this airport – which has mountains between 5400-9500 feet high within five nautical miles of the landing strip, making for exceptionally tricky night landings – for years and years.

    Sharon landed in Smithers more than a decade ago. After university, she followed her then-fiance/future-husband here and although they’ve since separated, she wouldn’t be anywhere else. She plays bass, and there’s a vibrant music scene, and kids can safely walk to school. Her kids can safely walk anywhere. And as we’re about to (safely) walk off the plane, she tells me she’d be happy to drive me to my hotel. No taxi necessary.

    I get off the plane and am stunned. Contrary to my man’s mythologizing, there’s no mountain – or, if Hudson Bay Mountain does exist, it’s cloaked in the thick cloud and snowstorm choking the tarmac and the valley. So although I’m not sure there’s a mountain, I am sure there’s no coat. That dude – my dude – with the misleading weather report will have to surrender his jacket.

    And I might have to buy boots.

    ***

    In the meantime, I wear running shoes, let down the hem of my artfully-cuffed capris, and filch a pair of socks from my man. This will have to do as spring-masquerading-as-winter wear.

    I walk to the coffee shop and on the way stop at a work-wear shop. I’m shocked. The rubber boots are cute. Not cute enough to buy, and not as cute as my lonely and staggeringly high shoes cooling their heels at the hotel, but cute.

    Later, I’m at the hospital. I’d like to blame the sneakers although of course the problem lies more with the operator than the equipment. For four hours I sit in a waiting room the size of a hot tub. I can’t bear to look at the faces of people around me. We’re too close to each other. We’re all in too much pain. Eye contact seems an unwelcome intimacy when we’re all craving anonymity…and to be elsewhere. I don’t imagine anyone in any community aims to spend a day or a night here.

    A woman sits beside me and her two kids climb onto her lap. They’re wearing fleece pants and candy-coloured gumboots. She’s wearing inky jeans over pointed boots that are almost but not quite cowboy boots. Maybe they’re Frye boots. They’re beat up all to hell. They look heavenly.

    The doctor who treats me is wearing battered boots, too. She’s got a tight grey sweater, dark jeans and grey boots. Round-toes. Scratched, scuffed, fabulous.

    A nurse asks me why I’m here, and grins approvingly when I tell her I’m writing about Smithers. She’s been here for two months and she loves it. There’s so much to do that she hasn’t had a chance to do most of it.

    As I listen to her extol the virtues of her new-found home, I realize that Smithers isn’t a town, it’s a religion. Its people (even those new to the faith) are evangelists.

    What Sharon lovingly preached on the plane is echoed by my newfound medical team and soon to be passionately repeated by almost everyone I talk to – both those born into it and converts, alike.

    ***

    Caroline Marko, I’m told by more than one person, is a “colourful character”. She’s tiny in stature but huge in presence. Her wild red curls and logging-camp language charmingly cluttered with curse words contrasts with her vaguely European accent and the classic couture training she received from her family in Sweden. She comes from a line of tailors, she explains, and that’s what brought about her boutique, Salt. (“Why Salt?” I ask. “Because I’m not sweet,” she replies.) Obviously yet inexplicably, Salt is stocked with gourmet sea salts, a custom bicycle…and a collection of unique, finely-crafted clothes and jewelry that seems more curated than sourced.

    But business is not what brought her to Smithers. That she blames on alcohol, Mexico, a man, and her mother’s ultimatum.

    And an “appalling” outfit: a boob tube, platform sneakers – “it was the back in Spice Girls days” – and way-too-big men’s shorts she bought at a street market while backpacking around Cabo San Lucas. “I was wearing jeans,” she explains, “but it was way too hot and I was way too drunk. And so I bought and wore those shorts.”

    It was in this still cringe-inducing ensemble that she met “a really hot Canadian guy”. After spending only a day together, they said goodbye and returned to their repective countries…only to say hello over and over again with more than $800 worth of long distance calls. When her mother got the bill, she told Caroline: “You have two options. You’re either going to pay this bill or you’re going to use that money to go to Canada and see this man.”

    Fourteen years, two kids and one business later, Caroline reports that her husband “still owes my mother a thank-you gift.” It’s a delightful, wild ride of a love-story, but that’s fitting: Caroline is a roller-coaster, personified. She gives me this interview while simultaneously making time for a few words with fellow local business owner (C.O.B.’s Dave Percy, the builder of the bike in Salt’s window and who, along with Caroline, has me thinking that Smither’s stock of business-owners is disproportionately young, fit, and fine), charming clients, and having a stern yet sweet talk with an employee who inadvertently allowed a heavily made-up friend to stain a delicate silk dress.

    And regretting her current outfit: a fitted, white cotton t-shirt, even more fitted olive green cargo pants, and glossy, knee-high, equestrian-style boots I instantly covet. “I look a mess,” she says. “You don’t look a mess,” I answer. “You look magnificent.”

    She is magnificent. And so is the next dynamic young entrepreneur I meet.

    ***

    Along with his wife, Joscelyn (“in all honesty, she runs the store”, he confesses) Jason Krauskopf owns Rayz Boardshop, a seasonal boat rental/waterskiing company, and a recently-completed rental guest house called Stonesthrow. When I meet up with him there, he’s sitting on the leather sofa in his sock-feet.

    Jason grew up in Smithers and went to university in Prince George. While he was there, he decided he wanted to create a particular lifestyle – built around outdoor pursuits like snowboarding, skateboarding, water-skiing, and fishing – and knew Smithers was the place to do it. But in order to do that, he also knew he’d need to invent an occupation. And so, before he’d even graduated, he was negotiating to fund and buy Rayz Boardshop. His plan was to design a business around the life he wanted to live in small-town Smithers.

    And that, he explains, “is not uncommon”. Jason knows several people his age with similar stories. While most small towns in northern BC are battling “brain drain” with more young people exiting than entering, Smithers is gaining newcomers and retaining its younger generation. It’s such a significant and counterintuitive phenomena that the Smithers District Chamber of Commerce and the Town of Smithers Economic Development Committee chronicled it with a book project called “The Kids Came Back”.

    So Smithers retained Jason Krauskopf and gained his friend Mark Gillis. Jason and Mark met at university in Prince George, and after graduating and travelling the world, Mark moved to Smithers with his wife. He worked in forestry while starting a hobby brewery that rapidly became more than a hobby. Plan B Brewing now a full-time business. And, Jason testifies, it’s really good beer. Jason shows me an empty bottle – the label art is terrific – and tells me that I really should talk to Mark. And then he drives me right to him.

    ***

    The Plan B brewery isn’t open for business today, but a peek through the artfully crafted window bars reveals there’s business being done, and so, emboldened by Jason’s prodding and presence, I walk right in. There’s a polished concrete bar, leather sofa, fabulous art, fridges full of beer, an open “kitchen” consisting of stainless steel barrels and gleaming tubes and taps, and Mark Gillis in the middle of it all in an apron and rubber rain boots. It’s Tuesday. He’s brewing.

    Like Jason, Mark grew up locally (he’s originally from Vanderhoof). Like Sharon, Caroline and Jason, Mark tells me he made a conscious choice to live in Smithers and now that he does, he can’t imagine raising his children anywhere else. And so he’s an enthusiastic champion of local talent, from the guy who cast his concrete counters, to the welder who created the hop-vine window bars I spied through, to Facundo Gastiazoro, the artist whose paintings hang in the entrance of the brewery and illustrations adorn the labels of all the brewery’s beers, which in turn are named for local legends. It’s a passion-fueled enterprise in a passion-fueled economy: like Mark, people here are passionate about their town and its history…and so, in order to stay, they build businesses around their particular passions. Entrepreneurial excellence is everywhere.

    And so is generosity. When I try to call a taxi, Mark insists on driving me back to my hotel. This just keeps happening. Everyone I meet gives me gifts, from lifts to town to bags of gourmet salt, introductions, and even an offer of a free night’s accomodation. I think about this, and about the parallels in all the stories I’ve heard – outdoor living, love, art, family, free-range kids, entrepreneurship, community – and realize that the personal histories shared by Sharon, Caroline, Jason and Mark are sideways lessons in the land, culture and economy of Smithers.

    It’s delicious and I want more, so I arrange to spend some time with David deWit.

    ***

    David deWit is the Natural Resources Department Manager for the Office of the Wet’suwet’en and when we meet, I’m so smitten by his soft-spoken, soulful “Wet’suwet’en 101″ that I don’t even check out his soles. David walks me through the clan structure, culture and politics of his peoples from long, long, time ago to today, and his thoughtful tutelage triggers a come-to-Jesus moment in me. There’s a shift in my thinking. As a recovering political science junkie (seven long years of undergrad and graduate study), I realize that my understanding of contemporary Aboriginal peoples and politics has been exclusively, inappropriately Machiavellian: all about machination, treaties, positioning, protest, reparations and reaction. My “knowledge” is a headline, news-report reel. This band protests X development. That tribe blocks Y pipeline. But David shows me that what The Office of the Wet’suwet’en and the Wet’suwet’en people want is not to have to react to announcements of development in their traditional territories. Instead, they’ve set up proactive processes to work with corporations and governments to jointly plan economically and socially sustainable development.

    As an example of a project that went awry when it could have gone right, I ask him about a past plan for coalbed methane drilling in the headwaters of the Skeena, Nass and Stikine Rivers. The “sacred headwaters” is the birthplace for all three regional rivers feeding the lakes, fish stocks, sport-fishing industry…and families of many community members. A methane leak or spill in the headwaters could pollute all three rivers downstream, compromising or even destroying ecosystems, economies, livelihoods and food security throughout the region. And so the plan was met with protest – and not only from members of the Aboriginal community.

    But. It wasn’t mining, drilling or development that the Wet’suwet’en and other community groups opposed. It was the place. The headwaters. You simply shouldn’t risk drilling there. And so, David explains, if companies come to them with proposals rather than announcements, the Wet’suwet’en can offer practical advice (like: drill here, not there, because it’s less of a socio-environmental risk, which means community groups probably won’t freak and block your project) based on their long, wide and deep knowledge of the region’s social and eco-systems. The Wet’suwet’en, David explains, welcome opportunities to contribute their local, historical expertise to developing sustainable, profitable ventures more likely to be embraced than protested by the region’s communities.

    In a traditional business sense, they’re preaching the win-win-win. In an even more traditional sense, the Wet’suwet’en are practicing Yintah. It’s a word, David explains, describing both the Wet’suwet’en territory and philosophy. Yintah is an all-encompassing concept describing the interconnectedness of everything in a territory - from the soil, air, trees, water, and weather to the animals and people – and as a philosophy and practice Yintah acknowledges the relationships, responsibilities and interdependencies existing between all of these elements. And by “people”, David continues, Yintah includes all the people inhabiting Wet’suwet’en lands, Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal alike. If you are here, from dust motes to deer mice to deer to people of all ethnicities, you are to be considered in every action and happening in this territory. You are part of Yintah.

    And in some form, that’s exactly what everyone I’ve met has been trying to articulate to me. Some tell me they came (or stay) for the outdoors, arts-and-culture, business opportunities, or people…but what they all return to – in life and conversation – is the fact that Smithers is all of these things. The land, the animals, the people, the economies, the cultures are all inextricably linked with each other. It’s Yintah. It’s interconnection. It’s communion.

    It’s a community. They are a community. Their boots are made for walking and working together. They’re keeping the faith.

    ***

    10am. Sunday. Church bells. For real. Where have I ever heard church bells before? Oh yes, first in Venice and then in Rome. And now in Smithers.

    Although they ring through the whole town, I suspect these bells toll for me. It’s only a few days in and already I’m convinced. I’m converting. While I’m not (yet!) moved to move, I am ready for a pair of beautiful, battered-to-Smithereens boots. Still, given my penchant for fifties silhouettes and pencil skirts, I’m not sure what I’ll wear them with.

    Maybe just a smile.

    And, possibly, another return ticket.

    ——————–

    How to get there: Hawkair specializes in flights to major northern towns in BC (Terrace, Kitimat, Smithers, Houston and Prince Rupert); has three-times daily service to Smithers from Vancouver’s main terminal; great prices (economy fares start at $235 CDN each way); tasty snacks sourced from local bakeries and caterers; and incredibly friendly service.

    Where to stay: If you’re looking for out-of-town charm, Stonesthrow Guesthouse or Logpile Lodge serve up privacy in the midst of very pretty natural settings. The Logpile is a tech-free retreat – no phones, TVs or wireless – while Stonesthrow comes equipped with a large flat screen, stereo, DVD player, printer, and internet connection.

    In town, there are lots of economical options, from The Florence and The Fireweed at the lower end of the price range to The Sandman and The Sunshine Inn at higher (but still exceptionally affordable) price points. In most of the hotels and motels, décors are pretty standard – but so are the prices, which range from $59 to $199 CDN per night plus taxes.

    Where to snack: Chatters Pizzaria & Bistro is habit-forming: though I’m not usually a fan of potatoes of any kind or in any form, I visited daily for a dose of seasoned yam fries with chipotle. Even more addictive is Schimmel’s Fine Pastries, an Austrian bakery with great coffee, good ambience and very fine pastries indeed.

    Where to dine: If you ask around, two restaurant recommendations will come up over and over again: The Trackside Cantina and The Logpile Lodge Dining Room. The Trackside Cantina is a casual southwestern/Mexican kitchen with hearty servings and service while The Logpile is eclectic and elegant with a prix fixe menu that changes daily (but call ahead: it’s only open a few nights a week).

    What to drink: Plan B Beer. It’s available at Luftikus, Chatters, The Riverhouse Restaurant and Lounge at The Aspen Inn and direct from the brewery on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

    Who to Talk To: Everyone – but especially Gladys Atrill at Tourism Smithers, who introduced me to nearly all the people and places on this list.

    What to wear: Boots.