I get off on being the bad girl because I’m accorded the privilege of being good. And so because I’m safe, I like sexually charged language, curse words and brazen confession. I like to be the change I want to see the world and I want women to own it. Own their sexualities. Own their power. Own their voices. Own themselves.
I want women to be badasses rather than bad – ‘cuz fuck the good girl/bad girl madonna/whore dichotomy. I’m not either. I’m both.
And so sometimes I delight in the shiver of appropriating pimp-and-ho language for my suburban biz. It’s kind of sexy-shocking-funny for a seemingly whitebread mama to describe the sacrifices she makes to pay the bills while growing her gig as “whoring”.
Except it’s not, really.
For a while I’ve worried about pimp-and-ho analogies and language. We use the metaphor casually, comedically – but it seems that the only people (like moi) who do that are those far removed from the exploitation and violence inherent in the pimp/ho dynamic.
And so…suburban mamas, bootstrapping entrepeneurs, emerging artists and privileged peeps: let’s think about what it means before we say it.
Think about the woman getting stomped by a man for not handing over the money she made on her back being used by another man.
Think about the girls and women in captivity. Not just far away in other countries but a few streets over.
Think about what it means for a violent man to instruct “his” woman not to look him in the eye. And what happens if she does.
Think deeply and carefully before comparing your freely chosen sacrifice and hustle to pimping or being pimped.