this I know
- By Kelly Diels
- 10 February, 2011
- 63 Comments
- Generosity is the antidote to (non-clinical) depression.
- It is also the antidote to stuck.
- There is no stuck.
- Learn the art of the reframe. It is a life-saving device.
- There is an invisible border between the strategic, necessary reframe and spin. If you find that fence, walk it like a cat: with dignity, insouciance and caution.
- Fear is inevitable. Make room for it. It isn’t a hurdle. It’s fuel.
- Your value is not your price. My self-worth is independent of my fee.
- When selling your art, practice regret-free pricing. How much is a painting worth? The number that will not make you sorry to sell it.
- When selling your time, practice resentment-free pricing. Your fee should ensure you won’t resent the person with whom you’re working.
- The client who chooses you because you’re the cheapest will make you regret your existence, wonder if you’re any good at what you do, and question whether you want to stay in business. Say no. Eat a month of rice rather than making nice.
- Excellence, not perfection.
- Business models are iterative. You’ll probably ditch your business model and business plan three months into the game. Opportunities will define your business model. Your response will define your success.
- Ditto for brand and websites. They’re living entities. They don’t have to be finished when you launch. In fact, they can’t be. Don’t wait ’til they’re perfect to do your thing. That’s your insecurity talking and insecurity is the pause button of human machines.
- Brand is an ethic.
- The urge to create is divine. It’s a telephone line to God.
- Love. Worship. Create. Share.
- There’s no such thing as sacrifice. Every trade you make – for love, for art, for your children, for your business, yourself – is service to that which you love.
- Self-promotion is the service you perform for your art. It isn’t icky, brazen or distasteful. It is service to yourself and the world.
- Marketing is a creative opportunity and an extension of your art. Make it juicy. Enjoy.
- Over-prepare.
- “You” is a relief, an invitation, and a competitive advantage. Business is always personal.
- Love your people, in life and business, because there is no distinction.
- Everything I know about business I learned from love.
- And blogging.
—————————-
Guess what, pumpkin? I’m giving away a total of ten (one session each to ten people) FREE Red Shoe Blogger Digital Strategy Sessions (one hour consults via Skype about your blog, your platform, the art of self-promotion, and how to blog and write mo’ better).
Want one?
Then, my darling, let me know in the comments. A panel of three bloggers (I haven’t yet decided who they are but I will by the end of the day) will select the winners and I’ll announce them on Valentine’s Day.
About the author
- More at
Thanks so much for this awesome list! Fingers crossed that I’ll win a free session.
This giveaway comes at exactly the right time for me – I’m struggling with the “evil necessity” of a blog, facebook, twitter (OK, well I think I’ve got the twitter thing down, but the rest, argh!). So, pick me. Please. xoxo
I wanna put on my my my my my red blog shoes. And boogie with you.
What a fabulously generous gift.
Thank you!
This post is beyond awesome. Thanks for that today!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tara Swiger, Tandem Antiques, Kelly Diels, Sara Blackthorne, Randi Buckley and others. Randi Buckley said: If this weren't great as is, check out her offer! RT @kellydiels: my newest: this I know http://goo.gl/fb/U37P6 [...]
this list is the shit. going straight on the wall by my desk, right in eyesight. please put me in the mix for your giveaway. i would do good on it, i promise.
Pick me! My blog needs something… and I’m not sure what. Writing is hard when I’m not sure what I’m saying and I end up doing the other things on my list first. Hope this doesn’t sound hopelessly lame!
Kelly Diels,
I wear five inch heals on the inside. I’ve been walking around all week in them dreaming about our one-on-one session together. And then you simply serve it up?
The universe and I are having a hot affair.
My life changed when I realized that SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION is in fact, shameless.
Last week while putting ten more hours on top of fifty other hours into preparing my Rock Your Body, Speak Your Mind class I’m teaching, I kept quoting you inside, “Preparation is LOVE.” And boy was I in the joy.
Keep the fire burning, Sister.
You, my dear lady, are the best. I know tell you that all the time but I’m not yet sick of it so it will continue! Please keep the gems coming.
Kelly-24 amazing points. 1 new word (honestly, had to look up insouciance-thank you
). And the self-realization I need a red shoe stomp out my fear…or, at the very least, more cleavage.
The list. Delicious. I vant. To pick. Your brain. Vith feather.
The exhibitionist part. To help me snip my corset strings. Or lace them. Who knows? That’s where you come in.
Jasmine
replied:
on February 10th, 2011 at 1:19 pm
@Pema Teeter, Love you darling. And love telling you so here in Kelly Diels’ kitchen.
Pema Teeter
replied:
on February 11th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
@Jasmine, Jazz, I’ll follow you anywhere in those 5″ heels. Break a heart in your Rock Your Bod class. xxoo
I love this list, I love everything you write, I’d love your wisdom re: red shoe blogging!
xoxox
A big amen to #1. Generosity turned my whole life around when I was in the dark.
I am planning a blog overhaul in the coming weeks to create a platform for the work-of-my-heart, so a session with you would be a Divine gift (should the Universe so wish it).
I’d love, love, love to smooch with you Kelly.
I’m evolving my blog to focus on entrepreneuring family style and I’m working my ass off to tighten my brand and implement some new, kick ass strategy. Seeing that you *are* an entrepreneur with kids I know you’d have invaluable advice to give.
I’m ready to kick it up 1000 notches. (maybe more.)
Once I got the website semifunctional my brain and fingers refused to communicate! How fortuitous I stumbled across this site today!
i see great things in store for me!
I would absolutely love to win a strategy session with you, seeing as I don’t have a strategy for my blogging and am rather diffuse on what direction I want to head with the blog and my art anyway.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kelly Diels, Jasmine Lamb. Jasmine Lamb said: RT @KellyDiels: "I wear five inch heels on the inside" comment http://ow.ly/3U9JL by @allislistening [...]
I ooze with pleasure when reading your divine wisdom. Would love to have a one-on-one with you, my dear.
Love this fiery list.
I blog about things that matter to me. Like why I write so damn much (because I want to make things that heal hearts by virtue of their empathy, their potential for You-Are-Not-Alone-In-Thisness). Ambition. What it’s like to have a serious mental illness and still rock it till the cows come home.
I’d love to have a one-on-one with you. That sounds delightfully dirty. Mmm. By which I mean, superb. Thanks for your consideration.
Kelly, this is fantastic! What a list and what a giveaway! Got my fingers crossed. You rock, sistah! Muah!
Kelly
Numbers 9 and 10 – just wow! I’m offering number 1 to my fellow commenters – may whomever is chosen have the biggest blast working with you.
Kate x
Oh yes, a session with you would be wonderful! This advice list alone goes beyond. But, I’m at the crossroads. My blog started off so personal, but no one read it, so that was fine (and SAFE!). But, now some people do. And I’m panicked because maybe that’s not so fine. Or is it? My new photo website had the garden blog link on it, but then I freaked and removed it. I find it especially tricky because I have a whole other professional life that involves neither photos or gardening that needs to be protected, as well. How does one work it all seamlessly? *raises hand* Problem child here. Don’t you feel like a good challenge!? Me or not me, it’s awfully nice of you to bother with us all out here!
This sounds amazing. Thank you so much!
You, my sweet, are all kinds of brilliant. You had me on several points above (and yes – many were familiar – I am listening).
Despite all the brilliance, it was the simple fact that you casually dropped the word ‘insouciance’ that put my wholeheartedly over the edge into full on adulation. I love a gal who can throw around words like that….it makes me feel like purring, kitty cat.
meow.
J.
Wicked Awesome list! Very inventive. And your brainstorms are just what could kick into high gear my plans for a information aggregator site that I plan to launch this year in the northeast. It will be fun! Please help this dude fire up his plans! I know you can.
Best,
Paul
why are there so few men on this list? I would treasure some time with this ur-creatrix.
I’m in! I love your writing and look forward to your wit and savvy in my email box! I’m raising my hand as well and would love to partake in an hour session to receive your insight and suggestions on a website relaunch. Thanks!!
Jaelin
So, I wasn’t going to comment. Thinking, “well, she’s SO hot and I really dig her stuff, but there’s NO WAY I am going to be chosen. Not if it isn’t blind-choice. Because really, I’m just like this little blogger who wants to teach women to bust out the big guns and show the world what they got. But not me. I’m not like that…”
Um yeah, that’s what I *thought* — but here I am.
Which means either: I’m crazy, totally nuts; I think maybe someone will feel bad and make my dreams come true (ala my Butch Princess Charming); or I’m ready to kick that hold-me-back bullshit to the curb. I’d bet money on that last one. How can I teach women to bust out their million-dollar words if I’m not willing to do it myself? Right?
So here I am. I want to find that diva-queen-kickass hottie that I once was (in college, when I had everything to prove and nothing to lose) and reclaim that space that is MY PERFECT SIZE (no more shrinking to fit into round holes) (um, I don’t mean like THAT). I’m ready to take my work to a whole new level, past anywhere I thought possible. And I’m ready to stop worrying how I’m going to pay for a Red Shoe Blogger session when I’m not bold enough to go seek work so I’ve no billable hours coming in. Yep, that’s right: I haven’t got a clue how to sell my goods (I never even ran a lemonade stand-just sold Girl Scout cookies).
There you have it. I’m near pissing myself writing this, but it feels so damn good.
Thanks, Kelly. You rock my socks off, even when I don’t realize it. xoxoxo
Kelly,
This is my first exposure to your work. WOW! Glad I found you…and I’ll be back!
Peter
Brand spanky new web site. An empty vessel full of possibility and potential. Scared spitless.
I run an online soulcare community for women, and one of our members was just asking for advice on how to STOP under pricing her work. I gave her the link to this post and quoted her items 7-10. Thanks so much for the timely advice.
And yep, enter me in the Red Shoes drawing. You’re kinda awesome.
Here’s to believing in cleavage! (shimmy, shimmy)
Rachelle
Oh my sweet! You tease and torment and satisfy all in the brilliant strokes of your keys. There is so much richness and Beauty in this list (and always in you) I feel inspired and blinded at the same time.
Way to light a fire!
And I struggle with some metaphor to describe how much both of my blogs (and I!!) would benefit from a red shoe walkover, workover, but my words and images pale in comparison to their lustrous red glimmer.
I’m aching to do you proud.
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
Love them all but most especially numbers 11 and 16! I’m a butt-kickin’ instigator for others and would appreciate that for myself. I can’t imagine anyone I’d want more. Especially with red shoes on
Hi Kelly,
That was (another) absolutely beautiful post. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with your community.
Like many others here, I would love the opportunity to discuss my strategy/content with you in your Red Shoe Strategy Sessions – it would be especially useful as I am in full strategising (yes I’m an Aussie and we use S’s instead of Z’s) mode and I know that your perspective would greatly assist me in getting this right the first time round!
I’m also sure your panel of bloggers will have fun digging through all these comments
Thanks,
Matt
As always, you are a dynamite of love and power in words, dearheart.
I would love to be a Red Shoes girl!
This is an amazing list, Kelly. Thank you. I am trying to be too many things to too many people, having trouble deciding where to place my focus from one moment to the next. If anyone could help me sort it all out, I believe it is you.
To All – I had the pleasure of having a Red Shoe blogger with Kelly before I launched my first site this past September. Our session, Kelly’s insight and my willingness to soak up every last bit of advice has resulted in 1. me being offered a weekly column on dearthyroid.org 2. having a post syndicated on BlogHer and 3. attracting some red hot bloggers who are offering to guest post on my site (stay tuned lovelies!). Kelly’s ability to shine her light and share her wisdom with me are priceless. The fact that she is offering 10 free Red Shoe Blogger sessions? Well that just speaks to who she is.
To Kelly – I am grateful. I am also emailing you right now to arrange another Red Shoe Blogger session. Before you get too booked up.
Much love. xo jen
seriously? you’re giving away Red Shoe Blogger Digital Strategy Sessions? um, i want in! i’ve just started the process of transitioning my blog into something else. something more. i could use your sage counsel. xoxo.
This spoke right to my soul today. Exactly what I needed to hear! Particularly the part about charging an hourly rate that won’t make you resent your client. A fine, fine lesson, indeed.
And this giveaway you’ve cooked up? Yes, please! I’m an artist ready to take the next step and promotion is my real stumbling block. I’m ready for some changes… I even chopped off my long hair today, so you know i’m looking for some serious life changing. I’m looking for exciting, big ideas about how I can self promote without feeling icky or sounding tacky.
Thanks for your fab thoughts and generous giving!
Oh Kelly – I’m so glad you exist. Giving things away makes me feel abundant too.
You know what, on the way to the train station today I saw a pair of red wedge heeled shoes in the window of a store. Now I’m a yogi who lives in flip flops, trainers and flats but they made me think of you. I went in and tried them on. I photographed my feet and sent the photo to my sweetheart. He replied “Red!!!”
I didn’t need to buy those shoes right now because just trying them on helped me awaken a certain part of me, the Red Shoe Blogger in me.
Thank you.
A chance to win a one-on-one with the fabulous Kelly Diels? Don’t mind if I do! I would love to be a Red Shoes blogger. This flip-flops wearing girl has a side of her that’s been itching to get out. It’s already started with dying my hair red, and it’s just a matter of time before these long locks get chopped off, a new wardrobe is bought – a whole new look that’s more me than I’ve ever been. And alongside is a brand spankin’ new biz. Right now, it’s a domain name, a big idea and dream, a few notes chicken scratched, and passion keeping it all moving forward. Developing my platform now and kicking my writing up a notch is exactly what this girl needs to rock the new biz.
Thank you for your generous awesomeness and that kickass list above. Number 15 is my favorite, but numbers 7-9 have stuck in my brain for future reference. Much love to you. <3
kelly!
your list is printed & posted on my wall! profound, propelling, pure potentiality. i love 7,14,15,18,19 & 22 especially. i get they are a reflection of my strengths & uh, weak spots.
i sort of blog, i sort of tweet, i sort of self-promote & i’m sort of FB challenged at the moment YET i make lots of art!
got my red shoes ready!
much love from shāna
One never knows, does one? Such good cheer you bring. A new frame? Refreshing!
What a great give-away! I started my cooking blog a couple months ago and would really LOVE some help. Please pick me
Thank you!
I’m throwing my name in the hat
. <3 at over prepare & experience not perfection
I LOVE THIS. I’m going to read it a hundred times.
Love the list. Love your generosity. Sign me up.
Most importantly, I love your writing and your generosity is inspiring. Thank you.
I’d love a strategy session. Lately, I’m reading about writing more often than actually writing, and even though there’s no stuck, I’d like to move past this phase. When I do write, it feels like looped cliches. I can do better than this and I’d love your help getting there.
Thank you, again, for sharing your awesome skills.
Ditto for brand and websites. They’re living entities. They don’t have to be finished when you launch. In fact, they can’t be. Don’t wait ’til they’re perfect to do your thing. That’s your insecurity talking and insecurity is the pause button of human machines.
Again, you’re reminding me to stop wanting everything to be perfect. In fact, you’ve motivated me to go public with my two business websites by noon tomorrow.
Oh, and count me in on that free digital consult session. I’m tired of sitting around waiting for employers to call me back. I’m tired of feeling like a helpless victim. I want to cut out the middle men, get paid for what I love to do and do well, and make sure my kids aren’t going to have another lousy Christmas. Or lousy birthdays. Oh hell, I just want my kids to have better lives than the throes of unemployment have to offer. I need to make this step to self-employment as successful as possible. Working for The Man has most definitely lost its appeal.
Off to reframe…and accomplish.
“If you find that fence, walk it like a cat: with dignity, insouciance and caution.”
This sentence floored me with its beauty. I want to BE that, with caution softened by faith. Thank you for writing it.
I’m about to start my REAL life (leaving on Feb. 14!) and I’d love for my baby blog to get a red stiletto boot in its pink ass on the way out the door!
Hey Kelly, I love your writing. “Telephone line to God” is probably my favorite line from a blog in a long time.
I’m 20 years old and diving head-first from art school into my new brand of revolution online. Currently rethinking everything about digital strategy (what is a blog, anyway?!) and how to create in a way that better serves my message.
Looking to walk more cat-like and make EVERYTHING more personal. <3
So excited I found your blog today. You have written the words I need to hear (over and over) as I set out on the adventure of starting my own business. Thank you!
Ready to start.
You’re so awesome kelly. I don’t want to deprive someone else of the gift of your time and expertise. I’m way short on content and platform.
Hey look at me i’m making excuses! If it’s meant to be i’ll be chosen
I’d love to have your help unlocking my inner sassy minx, Kelly. I know that my writing style can be a billion times more expressive but I’m not quite sure how to get there, & I’d be ecstatic to have you to show me the way (in your red stilettos, of course. corset? optional.).
And thanks for such a generous offer. <3
[...] Sara Blackthorne, Forest of Stories [...]
[...] once told my dear friend Kelly that Beauty will save [...]
[...] want to pick out another idea from Kelly Diels’s post This I Know and an apt one for this week as #CustomerLove draws to a close. Self-promotion is the service you [...]
[...] favorite posts: This I Know. Convince Me Not. Stroke the Face of [...]