Comments on: January. Relationships. Hold On (Maybe).

By: on safe harbours, swimming demons, and facing your own stuff | Cleavage by Kelly Diels.

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 18:44:32 +0000

[...] he drove me crazy. He circled around safe Canadian parking lots for eternities, passing up perfectly fine spaces [...]

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 05:19:38 +0000

I didn’t know that about January! I love your point about language. I was married to someone who’s language I didn’t speak, which I didn’t realise until after the divorce. I recently dated a man who did speak my language and it was a wonderful place to be.

By: Meghashyam Chirravoori

Meghashyam Chirravoori — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 04:12:45 +0000

The way you told us all the story of your relationship in just a few words was beautiful. You didn’t blame, didn’t express any resentment – and yet you were bare and genuine.

Your words made me stop for a moment and ask myself: do I and my girlfriend speak the same language?

And the bare, genuine answer is thankfully, yes. Thankfully we listen to each other and understand what he or she is aaying most of the time. And indeed thankfully, I know.

Thank you for filling some of my moments this morning with the freshness that only genuineness can bring.

By: Jack

Jack — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:02:34 +0000

Your line about letting your monsters catch you reminds me of my post, The Almost Warrior. We all have our demons and I think that sometimes we need to let them catch us so that we can determine how to disarm them for later.

By: Alex Blackwell

Alex Blackwell — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 18:54:52 +0000

Thanks for being so real and vulnerable. You are right: “If you know, you know.”

For me, this inner voice; inner wisdom, comes from my soul and is seldom wrong. I can pretend it is wrong, or simply ignore it and hope it goes away, but sooner or later my inner voice screams at me, grabs my attention, and makes me listen. I think we find greater strength when we begin to obey this nudge and move in the direction we are meant to go.

Best wishes for your journey Kelly.

By: Simon

Simon — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 18:08:05 +0000

Beautiful writing, Kelly. My personal learning (and mantra), that seems to be ongoing and possibly ever-lasting is that opening our hearts makes us vulnerable. In that vulnerability, we fear that they might be broken. And yes, the world’s pain does break our hearts, over and over again. But a broken heart is not a paralyzed one. Hearts are broken open, not destroyed; and from an open heart’s capacity to be with suffering, healing arises.

Still learning…

By: Nicki

Nicki — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:05:58 +0000

Unbelievable! I have been through a break-up since the Christmas holiday and never looked at it this way. The best thing was I think we both came to the same conclusion – this was truly not for us – but went about ending it differently, the different languages we speak.

To top that off, looking back, my marriage also ended in January so the statistics are there to back up Google.

I am so glad I found you through Lindsey!

By: Anthony Licari

Anthony Licari — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:54:33 +0000

@Kelly Diels, Friends? How about two parasites hosting off each other. Yes, that sounds most excellent.

By: Carlos Velez

Carlos Velez — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:33:22 +0000

So damn smart…

“So tell yourself a new story. Tell yourself the truth. Start with this:
If you know, you know.
If you don’t know, wait until you get to the knowing. More heavy lifting, hard works, stillness and listening.”

Learning to trust yourself when you know, learning to be patient when you don’t. You speak soul words, and I like it.

Do you ever find yourself having to wait for [something] even after you know that you know? And then you have time to wonder, “Do I really know this? or am I kidding myself?”

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 14:02:19 +0000

I just realized how complicated my situation would be if I were married – oy vey haha