all things old fashioned: courtship, dragons, Bob Marley, God, and a mixed tape

Earlier this week, I wrote a piece inspired by a Bob Marley quote and admitted that what he advised is what I need to do in my romantic life:

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. The trick is to find the ones worth suffering for.

In response, Lindsey Mead – and I say this all the time, I’ll read any book Lindsey Mead recommends, you MUST check out her very personal, engaged book reviews – very sensibly asked,

Tell me, though, how can we ascertain who is worth suffering for before we fall in?

And the incomparable, woman-in-my-heart (and my head) Lianne Raymond (she’s a coach/life poet and you should hire her) answered,

We can’t if we make it too easy. For us and for the other. There needs to be some obstacles – this is what the old fashioned idea of courtship was about. We each need to know about the other: “Am I treasure enough for you to face your dragons?” The ones who can answer yes to this question are the ones worth suffering for – because that is you facing your dragons in turn.

This is the archetypal story contained in the fairy tales, sexist as they can be.

Love untested is not love at all, in the end.

Sorry if I sound pedantic, I’ve faced a few dragons in my time.

And then my beloved Dave Doolin, unflagging advocate of excellent content and top-notch blogging, told me that I’m a “very old-fashioned girl” – something that I had only discovered for myself a few days earlier.

I could go all LoA and say the universe is talking to me but we all know I don’t believe in that bullshit. Instead, I’ll say I’m hearing the voice of God (and reason!) in the mouths of my friends.

So, old-fashioned it is. In keeping with my new way of being, I did something totally old skool: I made you a mixed tape.

Okay, a playlist.

Days – and weeks – often speak to me in song, so here’s my Cleavage playlist for the week of Sept 19 – 25:

From Sunday School for Sentences #3: Object Lessons (from Kanye West and JD Salinger):

1. All Falls Down – Kanye West
2. Touch the Sky – Kanye West
3. American Boy – Estelle Featuring Kanye West
4. Put a Cap in Yo Ass – Ben Watt Featuring Estelle (hat tip to Dave Doolin for suggesting it in the comments)

From In the Burning Rays of Restless and Reckless, Don’t Forget To Wear Sunscreen:

5. Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) – Baz Luhrman
6. Nobody’s Gonna Love You – Cee Lo Green


Now, over to you: the playlist isn’t finished.

We need a seventh video (seven videos for seven days,  natch).

Which one would you suggest?

About the author

Kelly Diels I'm Kelly Diels. I'm a writer. I've written for Salon, Jezebel, XO Jane, Problogger, Write to Done and more. I'm currently working on a book about The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand. Interested? Please subscribe to my newsletter and I'll share more thoughts and chapters with you as I write them. You can also find me on Facebook and yes please, please do.