Comments on: First Comes Love, Then Comes…a (Possible) Capitulation. Let me know if you see a white flag.

By: this is for you | Cleavage by Kelly Diels.

this is for you | Cleavage by Kelly Diels. — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 17:52:56 +0000

[...] that’s also why I won’t see you, not even for a snack or a sandwich: because, for an old-fashioned girl, lunch is a gateway [...]

By: all things old fashioned: courtship, dragons, Bob Marley, God, and a mixed tape | Cleavage by Kelly Diels.

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 07:08:23 +0000

[...] unflagging advocate of excellent content and top-notch blogging, told me that I’m a “very old-fashioned girl” – something that I had only discovered for myself a few days [...]

By: blissing

blissing — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 20:06:24 +0000

We are so much alike, except for the wantin’ babies thing. It didn’t stop until I used the mantra, “Any man would be lucky to have me.” Not when I was all tarted up and ready to go out, but in those really lonely moments when I felt like no one would want me.

By: Jess

Jess — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:20:49 +0000

@Kelly Diels, YES. I know the Susie Bright story of which you speak. It's really about, WHY are you sexing?

By: Kelly Diels

Kelly Diels — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 17:17:47 +0000

@April, Seriously, April, we share the same hive-mind (and experience). This was EXACTLY my issue. I've honestly been wondering how I can be sex-positive and an ally for my freaky peeps AND write about how *I* am not being capable of indulging in recreational sex. But, ultimately, there's no conflict. The conflict comes with doing things sexually that aren't good for my well-being - and THAT is the anti-thesis of sex positive. That's robotic, got-something-to-prove "sexuality", which isn't sexy (or fulfilling) at all. As Susie Bright writes, "The blow job queen of today is the celibate of tomorrow."

By: April

April — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 17:00:07 +0000

The serendipity in our journeys astounds me sometimes.

I am also finally owning who I am, a woman who desires to dive into the depths of love rather than play in the shallows. I am also a woman who believes that sharing sexual energy is sacred and that I need to be careful whose energy I allow to blend with my own. I am owning what I truly desire rather than just accepting what’s offered and feels good in the moment. I am owning that just because I am a leader in our local sex-positive community, that doesn’t mean I have to be down for casual sex. Being sex-positive is about celebrating sexual diversity. I need to celebrate who I am sexually.

I just let go of the love of my life this week because while I desire a partner relationship, he won’t give me even half of his free time because he wants intimate relationships with other women, both platonic and sexual. He’d rather spending more time playing in the shallows with several than dive into the deep with me. I finally realized that spending more time longing for him than having him isn’t working for me. Love mostly from a distance isn’t enough for me. I desire more. I deserve more.

In this case burning in Kali’s Fire is freeing me to find the relationship that’s right for me. It’s a good burn, although it hurts like hell right now.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:42:11 +0000

You know I’m with you, except for the dating pretty boys part (though I like to make out with them, I have no interest in their dangly parts).

I’m a far bigger slut in my mind than I’ve ever, ever been in real life.

I’m taking a breather from it all. FROM IT ALL. It is all about me right now. I’m tired of the yearning and striving.

I didn’t know you and Church Boy were staying in touch. Fingers crossed…

By: Paddy

Paddy — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 15:06:24 +0000

i love how you thread your stories kelly, i just end up wandering through your blog for hours!

By: Lisis

Lisis — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 14:57:07 +0000

You know what’s weird? I had a dream about you last night (before I knew about this post). We were having coffee together, and I was telling you about the two kinds of men out there: bed-hoppers and bed-warmers, and that it seemed to me you are wanting to find a bed-warmer, while marketing yourself to bed-hoppers. (AKA: You aren’t being honest to yourself about who you are.)

Those guys that hop into your bed (and many others) are super-sexy-hot, but they fizzle in the long run. The others, the ones that stick around and keep your bed warm and cozy every single night, they can seem a little dull at first, in comparison… but their embers glow indefinitely. You have to CHOOSE which type you’re after (Commit to who you are) in order to attract and keep the right one.

There’s a Lemony Snicket quote I love (and have lived): “The central theme of Anna Karenina is that a rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy.”

The notion that you can conquer and tame the super-sexy-manwhore and turn him into loving husband and father really only works in Harlequin novels. Trust me… Lord knows I tried.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:55:13 +0000

“Dave: Commit to who you are, the right men will show up. They will even become attractive.
Kelly: This is why I keep fucking up: because I’m not honest ‘bout who I am. I want love or nothing.”

Truth is King.

I love this Kelly – stepping into our own authenticity. Owning it. Owning ourselves.

I have no doubt the universe will provide…