boundaries vs disposable friendships: a checklist

…and this morning maybe I have the (possibly self-righteous) answer to the question that is haunting me:

How can I tell when I’m casually disposing of a friendship or ending it to protect or establish a necessary boundary?

(Or, in other words, not being a martyr or a doormat or hanging in there with someone who doesn’t truly care about me in words and deed.)

and the answer is…

A checklist. Clearly I’ve been body-snatched.

  1. Was I brave?
  2. Was I open-hearted?
  3. Did I ask for what I need?
  4. Could I do more to fix this?
  5. Did I offer and try my very best?
  6. Is the other person trying his/her very best, too?
  7. If I walk away, do I know, to my bones, that I did all I could do?

and, finally:

endings aren’t forever. They might just be for now. Sometimes we grow up and come back together. Sometime we grow apart. Sometimes we grow.

About the author

Kelly Diels I'm Kelly Diels. I'm a writer. I've written for Salon, Jezebel, XO Jane, Problogger, Write to Done and more. I'm currently working on a book about The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand. Interested? Please subscribe to my newsletter and I'll share more thoughts and chapters with you as I write them. You can also find me on Facebook and yes please, please do.