Comments on: honeypots, fairy tales and the myth of commitment phobic men

By: a long distance relationship

a long distance relationship — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 03:02:04 +0000

a long distance relationship…

honeypots, fairy tales and the myth of commitment phobic men | Cleavage by Kelly Diels….

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 05:34:08 +0000

You know what’s funny… I have found myself feeling the way you described before. I realize that in your case it is the men and not the women that are insecure so to speak. BUT I’ve found that over the past few relationships I’ve developed this insecurity about being an individual. I find myself wondering if a guy I’m seeing really likes me, LINDSAY, or just likes me, the-girl-who-is-there-in-front-of-them. I don’t know where that came from but it’s a shitty feeling!

By: Not a Relation-Ship, a Pirate Ship « Head ♥ Heart ♥ Health

Not a Relation-Ship, a Pirate Ship « Head ♥ Heart ♥ Health — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 01:31:58 +0000

[...] Adventure. Booty. Breaking the rules, braving the storms. We sail wherever we want, together. ~ Kelly Diels|Cleavage [...]

By: Choice. Commitment. Freedom. Cats. ARRRR Matey. | Cleavage by Kelly Diels.

Choice. Commitment. Freedom. Cats. ARRRR Matey. | Cleavage by Kelly Diels. — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:02:45 +0000

[...] The men in my life aren’t commitment-phobic. [...]

By: Joshua

Joshua — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 01:02:29 +0000

Amen. And thank you for saying what those 16 and 17 years old boys and many of us men won’t say ourselves.

I’ve been there, crushed, defeated, dejected. Wine in hand only to be emptied by the bottle, alone.

I’ve wondered who I would talk to about my hurt when the only one I ever talked to was gone.
And it was really only from the other women (and 2 men) in my life that I learned about sharing real feelings with someone other than my partner.

Side note/confession: I’m still not very good at it.

But I realised that there were no answers at the bottom of a bottle when you drink it alone. The answers come from the people you drink it with.

So find you some ppl to drink with gentlemen. And share more than old sports stories while you do it.

Trust me, it’s okay and it works.

By: floreta

floreta — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:09:49 +0000

so interesting that we’re on the same wavelength. i was just in the middle of writing about basically the same topic.. except you’ve articulated it so much better! great way to wrap it up and connect everything together. i do think the fairy tale is restrictive for men, also. i often wonder if i am fair to my partner (you know, when I have one) or if i’m idealizing the relationship more than i’m valuing the person.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 08:27:00 +0000

So gloriously clear and articulate, as ever. Thank you, Kelly.

I couldn’t leave my man for a year, no matter how wrong it felt, because I knew he would be alone. In the relationship, he threw his weight around and I dealt with it because I had help and comfort and I could.

Knowing that in leaving him I broke off his connection to the Outside skill kills me a little. Survivor’s Guilt? Hmm..

By: Kelly Diels

Kelly Diels — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 04:43:32 +0000

@Melissa, omgosh the imatge was most excellent...I'm so glad you linked to it!

By: kareem

kareem — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 02:09:17 +0000

@Dave Doolin, amen.

By: kareem

kareem — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 02:06:28 +0000

@Irving Podolsky, your queen sounds like an absolute keeper. i had to figure out that i’m not responsible for anybody else’s happiness – and be ok with it – during two difficult post-breakup years.

the good part is that i now have no desire to get involved with any woman who expects me to make her happy – keeping myself happy is work enough, and i can control *my* thoughts and behavior. this simple rule of thumb surprisingly rules out a LOT of women.