The first part of getting unstuck is acknowledging – and recognizing – what Lianne Raymond and Marianne Elliott told me: there is no stuck.
Progress is not linear; progress is cyclical; and part of the process is rest and winter…and stuck is winter. Stuck is not stuck.
Stuck is not a barrier you need to overcome. Stuck is not a glitch. Stuck is not a detour. Stuck is not in your way. Stuck is part of the way.
Stuck is actually part of the creative process.
You cycle up, you create great stuff, you create more, and then you need to rest.
Rest. Recharge. Winter.
So that’s the first part of getting unstuck: realizing that stuck isn’t actually stuck.
Stuck is rest. Stuck is part of the process.
And then, emotionally speaking, stuck can be a whole number of things.
Stuck can be a warning that you’re going somewhere you don’t want to go.
Stuck can be your own resistance and I think we all know from the Bible Star Trek that resistance is futile. Your practicality might fight your heart but your heart wants what it wants. The heart is a predator – a lonely hunter, an organ of fire, a bucking bronco. Desire will make you do what you need to do, so your practicality best saddle up and ride.
Because there’s no use fighting what you want. It wants you back. You two should totally get together.
Really, only good things happen when you cuddle up on the couch together.
I’ve written about this before: it’s best to get comfy with your fears.
And one of those fears is stuck.
But, just like Fight Club (or at least the fight club in my head: there is no fight club) there is no stuck.
I’ve taken this week off from the office to stay home and write my first e-book. And you know what? I’m already stuck 5 minutes into it! I’m not really stuck, according to your article, so after I post this I’ll get into my groove and just write the damn thing…
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Dave Doolin
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on May 17th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
@Maria Brophy, I just poked around your site. Awesome is too lame a word.
Why not just record a couple of hours of what you want to write about, then have that transcribed?
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Consider ‘forcing’ (heavens!) a flower. You’re making it do work during the time when it wants to rest. Result? You can plant it in your garden, but it won’t bloom as well afterwards (if at all).
Every living thing needs rest. It’s a Rule.
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Absolutely. We can become creatively drained… and also, after being into a project too hard my decision making regarding that project suffers.
Some of my best music is made after long breaks… when I’m not trying that hard.
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god, kelly, you are so right!!
“stuck” is pretty much my biggest fear. and I don’t think i realized it until I read this. I can get through most any hurdle – except the wall I build out of “stuck” bricks.
found this interview today via chris brogan: http://lateralaction.com/articles/the-war-of-art-steven-pressfield/ Steven Pressfield talks a good bit about “Resistance” and working through it – great read!
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This is something I’ve recognized at least a handful of times, but *somehow* I keep forgetting it.
I’ve been making a practice lately of doing exactly this: accepting what is. I’m not good at pacing myself yet to avoid the burnout, but I am getting better at recognizing it sooner, not beating myself up for it, and instead just accept it then pick myself up, dust myself off, and move forward more quickly without the requisite beating myself up for stumbling.
If you find the secret to pacing yourself when there are so many demands of which NONE are optional but there is not time enough for all of them… I’d really love to hear that!
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Another MUST READ post. Timely one at that, being Monday morning and all and I am once again headed in to my 9-5 ‘er.
Remember Conan The Barbarian? (Don’t look away. You know you are curious about how this is going to pan out.) He spent his youth ’stuck’ on the big wheel turn’y’ thing. It started out with him as a kid pushing the wheel along with all the other slaves. And as time wore on… the number of others declined and he got bigger and stronger till at the end he was this massive force pushing the wheel all by himself. A lifetime of strength and energy went into pushing that particular wheel and he did that better than anyone. He out lasted and outlived everyone else on that there wheel. A remarkable achievement in the world of wheel pushing.
…But no one remembers Conan for how well he pushed that wheel. He is remembered for how much ass he kicked when he was unleashed, For what happened when he ‘un’rutted himself.
The treadmill is a great place to build strength and endurance but you are never going to ‘get’ anywhere unless you take the show on the road.
I know that I am stuck on the wheel. It is serving its purpose at the moment. I am building strength, endurance and skill. I am learning just as much about what doesn’t work as what does. But as soon as I figure out how to pick this lock…
-J
PS: A Borg reference? You just made my heart skip a beat a little.
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PicsieChick
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on May 17th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
@John C Davies, I’ll toss you the key, as soon as I find it!
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Sanford
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on May 18th, 2010 at 10:57 am
@John C Davies, Love the story and analogy! If nothing else, know that you may out live the wheel and the chains. They will break before you do.
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Brilliant, brilliant and did I mention, brilliant. I adore you Kelly Diels.
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Hi, Kelly – just wanted to let you know that this piece really spoke to me today, and I wrote about your post (with links, of course), and my own present experience with resting, at length on my own blog/site: http://www.meggywang.com/trying-harder-every-day/2010/05/another-cycle-resting.html. Thanks for the good stuff!
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oooh i totally wrote about this a while back! just in a different way:
pt1 http://periferite.wordpress.com/2010/02/14/that-familiar-brick-wall/
pt2 http://periferite.wordpress.com/2010/02/14/so-its-not-actually-a-wall/
stuck isn’t stuck, it’s just a different, louder, slower gear.
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Stuck by any other name, might be “day job”. For now, it pays the bills, and so, is part of the process.
Hard to swallow some days. Easy once in awhile.
Focus on celebration. Every tiny shuffle forward, along with all of the big leaps and the champagne Fridays and the Bloggess summits. It’s all part of the process. The journey.
And didn’t someone wise once say that it’s not the destination that counts so much as the journey?
On their long trek across the continent to their new life, even the pioneers had to circle the wagons once in awhile.
It’s all progress.
I love how you write, I love how you change my way of thinking…
I don’t think it’s a secret anymore that I have a crush on you. (mwah)
And JohnC and I, we have a deal. Whoever finds the key first, tosses it over.
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
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thanks for the link! glad to be of help. i too love your writing. very delicious morsels of wisdom and funny.
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Sometimes, like this morning, stuck is not so much stuck as it is, “can I even do this sh*t?” Does what I have to say even make sense to anyone? Am I in the right universe? When I get stuck, like right now, it is more this feeling of wrongness. My friend Mr. Scotch and I talked about it to great lengths last night. I think at some point he slapped me upside the head cause it hurts this morning!
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Yes, yes, yes. Stuck is winter. I love that image. Thank you, Kelly, again. You are the greatest.
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Ah Kelly, you are young for one so wise.
> Rest. Recharge. Winter.
My favorite in this spectrum is “fallow.” It is such a rich and evocative word.
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So insightful, Kelly.
And, just like there is no stuck, there is no try (from that other bible).
I feel so much joy, witnessing the evolution of both you and cleavage, and the ever-growing impact you’re having on the lives of so many.
*smooch*
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“Your practicality might fight your heart but your heart wants what it wants.”
So true. And has given me pause…
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true true. it’s all part of the journey. failure can’t come without success. success can’t come without failure. it’s one in the same.
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Hi Kelly,
I just came across your blog through Marianne’s and am so glad I did. This post is amazing. I’m in a process of trying to make sense of all this resistance/ rest/ fallowness/ winter season stuff and I love how the right post comes at the right time. Look forward to following your blog.
Alisha
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Great conversation! I too am a great believer that we need a time to “rest” in the seasons of our life in order to become unstuck! Something I am currently doing — yeah, and loving it, btw. Thanks ScoutieGirl for pointing to this terrific blog!
Melanie
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I think I really needed to read this right about now. I feel stucker than ever. Guess it’s time to take a break.
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Someone asked me the other day how I was feeling. I said, “stuck.” I couldn’t go beyond that – no words or nouns or adjectives could qualify it. But, what you say above my dear makes good sense. Might be stuck because I’m resisting something – and that something might just be about being ok with feeling good! Or knowing I have great things to look forward to and that that positivity is unfamiliar. What a realization…here’s to our achieving unstuckness together
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Excellent post & perfect for me right now. I feel stuck. I’m sure that I’ll get unstuck (& hopefully, like Conan, be a force to be reckoned with. I’m glad that there is no stuck & the feeling has a purpose to serve. Thanks for posting!
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