Z: hi
Kelly: hi. how was your day?
Z: ball busting
Kelly: what happened?
Z: well I had a great time today having coffee with this beautiful woman…she had this low-cut top on that had me drooling. But when I dropped her off she refused to kiss me
Kelly: what a bitch! you should drop her and never talk to her again
Z: I wanted to kiss her
Kelly: I understand. Here’s what I don’t understand: men. Maybe. Do you think I ‘get’ men? As in, understand them?
Z: No you don’t
Kelly: Explain
Z: in my view… you have this view of men that is somehow not grounded in reality… they constantly disappoint you by being typical men and acting as men do…that tells me that you don’t really understand their make up
Kelly: mmmmmmmmmmmm. good insight. I’ve specifically decided to throw out my fantasies, and just deal with people, as they are, for real. That’s been really rewarding, so far… So tell me about a man’s makeup
Z: A man’s makeup is that we are basically fuck-ups…
Kelly: what?!
Z: We dont have any depth or tolerance for pain. We see everything in terms of… “will I get fucked?” We are not emotional creatures so an onslaught of emotion from a woman has us running for the hills or joining the foreign legion.
Kelly: That sounds like true lies. Like a cartoon of masculinity, babe. How do you explain fatherhood? Or friendship? We’re friends and I’m not fucking you. You give me emotional support, and love, and advice, and ask nothing, so you’re deeper than what you just described. And I have driven you batty with emotional demands at times, and you’re still here. Not in the foreign legion, or in the hills, even though you’re not getting fucked.
Wait…I’m checking my purse for your cojones.
Nope.
Nothing. You must still have them. Or maybe you left them at the coffee shop.
Z: I am talking in generalities. After that it boils down to the individual
Kelly: it always does, for sure. This man/woman business is kind of bullshit. The issue is more temperament than gender. If I were dating women instead of men, I’d still have the same Issues. I’d find women who retreated from my emotional needs just like I’m SUPERB at finding men who do that, too.
Z: You have wanted more from men than they are capable of delivering
Kelly: OH YES. So very true babe. You were one of those, but you know I love you anyway.
Z: You don’t love me
Kelly: WHAT? do you really think that? You mean the world to me. I reference things you say, in my own head. You’re part of me
Z: Really
Kelly: Really. I talk about you, and the things you’ve taught me
Z: What do you say’?
Kelly: To myself or to other people? To myself: you’re one of the voices in my head now. Part of my decision making process. To other people: you’re my rock.
I’m so lucky. I have you. I have ___ and ___, too. Although I’m a woman who apparently doesn’t understand men romantically, my life overflows with male friendship. I have three amazing men in my corner, absolutely and unwaveringly. Offering friendship. Asking nothing of me except to just be me. And showing up, consistently. It is almost better than a boyfriend.
Unfortunately no one is having sex with me.
*le sigh*
Z: I’ll have sex with you.
Kelly: No you won’t, but thanks for the offer. Hey, babe, can I write about this conversation? About your fucked up definition of masculinity?
Z: Yes. But end it with the fact that you decided to have sex with me out of pity…
Kelly: Nope. No pity sex for you baby. You get hot lovin’ or nothing…so let’s err on the side of nothing.
Z: lol. love ya babes
Kelly: me too. And thanks for the coffee.
This was really funny. It just goes to prove again how different men and women are. It’s a wonder that any of us ever end up with a person of the opposite sex. We are just so different! But OMG I still love men! And I don’t want to live without one anymore!
[Reply]
Kelly Diels
replied:
on April 5th, 2010 at 7:54 am
@Tracy Todd, I think the different is the key – and the attraction – for me, in all ways.
[Reply]
Could have been a recent conversation – or a future one, as I am sure we will have it again – I had with a male friend. Love it!!!
[Reply]
Kelly Diels
replied:
on April 5th, 2010 at 7:56 am
@Nicki, I *was* going to write an emotional, loving piece about the three men who are totally in my corner, and how I am treasuring their friendship, and how the friendship + flirty male energy is sooooooooooo important to me right now…but I think this conversation says it all.
[Reply]
Eleanor Edwards
replied:
on April 5th, 2010 at 11:47 am
@Kelly Diels,
I was reading that and just laughing along and giggling in recognition then I come over here to see you talk about the friendship/flirty male energy and it’s like I couldn’t agree more. This could have been a transcript from a msn conversation with one of my special friends. The difference being, I would be too shy to publish. Kelly, you are a legend
[Reply]
Kelly Diels
replied:
on April 5th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
@Eleanor Edwards, at least in my own mind.
[Reply]
Eleanor Edwards
replied:
on April 5th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
@Kelly Diels, lol. Good answer
[Reply]
Nice use of title attributes. I approve.
Woody Allen quote comes to mind there towards the end.
[Reply]
Haha, great convo. Can’t be mad at Z for trying.
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I love this! I have two really close guy friends and they mean the world to me. We joke about having sex too.
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Kelly He isn’t joking he wants to have sex with you. He is just a nice guy. A real nice guy but you wouldn’t notice that. If you want a nice guy and real relationship have sex with Z. Z I’m pulling for you!
FYI I only read the nice guy post and this post so far, I could be way off but I’m a guy.
BTW in my opinion guys can be friends only after they are married with children. Okay maybe I’m full of shit I still have girl friends from high scholl but, I was only friends with them oringinally because I wanted to get in their pants or i wanted to get in their friends pants.
HMmm I always thought of myself as a nice guy maybe I’m not. You know what us men are pretty screwed up which is why you can’t figure us out. We’re as crazy as you women are. I’m glad I’m married and don’t have worry about this crap anymore. GOOD LUCK.
OH Yeah I found you because you won on Davd Risley’s blog. How could I not look at a blog that is titled Cleavage. After all I’m a man.
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I’m the guy but i really don’t like that guy..
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