My Name is Kelly Diels, and I am a Parent. Except I hate the word “parent”. Mama or bust.
I used to write about my kids.
You know, “write what you know”. I know my kids. So, sometimes, a lot of the time, I wrote about parenting. I mean, who wanted to know about my ideas?
Now, I write about my ideas – mostly about sex (did you notice?), money, and meaning.
And you know what topic encompasses (and is the logical continuation of…) sex, money, and meaning?
Parenting.
Babies are sometimes the outcome of sex. Raising kids requires that you talk about sex and get real clear about your attitudes about sex.
Raising kids also requires money and talking to and teaching your kids about money.
And meaning. Oh my goodness, the meaning. To be a mama is everything to me.
Joy. And sheer, unmitigating, exhausting labour.
Dan Savage says that parenting is
Yep. That’s about right, according to me, too.
And so we often talk about the misery: the late nights, the unreasonable toddler, the incessant volume – oh the incessant volume – the exhaustion, the child who will just not sleep in her own bed.
And then she crawls into my bed and takes up residence in the small of my back, and I’m home.
Feminism and The Cult of Imperial Motherhood
An Epic Story of Unrequited Love
The Politics of Hair and How Salon Just Ruined My Life. Pity the Children.
Guest Post at Raising My Boychick: We Will Braid Our Way To Revolution, Baby
Why Being a Single Mom is GREAT for your Dating Life
How To Help Your Child Succeed in Life, and Extra-Curricular Activities are NOT It
Mamafesto. Unfinished. In progress. Just Like the Kids, and Me.
Barack Obama Just Won The Nobel Peace Prize. Next, He Makes Over Disney. I Can Feel It.
Happy Father’s Day to Fathers, Feminists and Slackers
How to Like Your Crazy Little Kids
For My Baby Girl, Who Is Not A Baby Any More
Miss Sophie: Ten Things I Love About You
Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems Mo’ Babies. Yes Please.
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WOW. That is a fantastic quote on parenting, Kelly. I have mixed feelings about talking about my kids online. One one hand I absolutely love it. Yet on the other, I feel it’s fenced me in a bit. You’ve handled it beautifully for sure.
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The heroin thing – yea! That so fits. And Kelly, the heroin problem gets bigger as the kids do, trust me on that. But again – “when it’s good, man, it’s total bliss” for sure – bigger bliss (trust me on that, too).
Love this post! Love the way you mix humor and wisdom.
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Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by KellyDiels: Parenting is my vice. Except ewwww to “parenting”. I’m a mama. http://ow.ly/Ybe6…
Ah, parenting… my wife and I expect to be in the club on Valentine’s day this year.
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Kelly, I love this, and I’m always so glad (and maybe kind of relieved) to know there’s another fierce mama out there who doesn’t like the word ‘parent’ — a mama gets her kids’ names tattooed on her body (if she wants) and a parent would never ever EVER…I am not my sons’ friend, I am their MAMA, and, when they’re older, their girlfriends better worship me appropriately…(I am kidding. Sort of.)
I like to think of myself as some still-growing, flowering, mama-tree my kids climb around in, with lots of space between the branches for them to breathe and move and build little playhouses. ‘Home’ is such a fierce concept in itself…The things they will see and the places they will go, but I want to be ‘home’ for them.
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Love this post! And I so agree with Mr. Savage Love. I only have one (3yo) so the misery is still manageable (and unintentional). But the bliss? It’s like the perfect cupcake with the perfect amount of frosting after the perfect meal, without the calories. Only better.
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Love your parenting philosophy. When they’re willing to snuggle with you, all is right with the world. I’ve got 2 who still like to cuddle. I’ve got one that’s on the verge of too old/grown up for that sort of thing, so I have to trick him into compliance. Wonder how long that will last?
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I was frankly ambivalent on kids. Having kids limits your new car opportunities. Then we had one, and I was completely sold. As he grew up he became my best friend. If you can have a kid, or mentor a kid, or borrow a niece or nephew for the day, I highly recommend it.
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Kelly,
Thanks for sharing these links. As a new reader it gives me a chance to get to know you better as a person and a blogger.
I started with the Barak Obama blog and loved it. I plan to work my way through the rest this week.
I just read your guest blog on Problogger and wonder if you would ever consider guest posting for me. I have a very small audience comparitively, but am puting something together later this month called Lady Marmelade featuring fearless, kick ass woman bloggers and wondered about the possibility of you being a part of it?
Either way, you have a loyal fan/follower in me.
A fellow BC chick,
Maven from A Fabulously Good Life
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That is a AWESOME quote and so totally true. I think your take on unparenting is right on. I actually believe when you have everything else balance in life you are naturally a better parent. But if you just focus on “parenting” and let everything else fall to shit then more than likely so will your parenting. I will be reading the rest of those links later today! They look great. Off to work now so I can support my little divas.
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And as they grow older, the withdrawl sucks more than you think… :-/
Also! Unschooler here.
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I’ve recently discovered your blog and have a girl crush/mama crush on you. I love the parenting quote and the reference to the child who just will not sleep in their own bed (b/c I am in the thick of that right now with my 4 year old babygirl). Anyway, I can’t wait to read all these links! You have a new fan.
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you look too young to be a parent!!
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просто афигенно!!!!))
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Чёрт возьми! Круто!Вы Сами ответили.Беру в цитник! Смысл жизни и всё остальное. Решено.Без шуток.
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Hey, great blog!. How do I subscribe to ensure I get notifed when you make new posts? Thanks
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http://www.lobzikov.ru
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