Comments on: Bratz. Be Still My Angry Heart. My Inconsistent Approaches to Female Sexuality. My Daughter. Myself.

By: Big Girls Don't Bang #ladypornday | Cleavage by Kelly Diels.

Big Girls Don't Bang #ladypornday | Cleavage by Kelly Diels. — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 07:04:17 +0000

[...] it contributed to created unrealistic sexual fantasies (!) and stifling expectations of women (and girls). I thought it was all Playboy, peroxide and pneumatic breasts all the [...]

By: Maven

Maven — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 07:34:50 +0000

Hello.

I loved your piece on Pro-blogger and decided to stop by. Liked this one even more.

I completely get where you’re coming from. For me it boils down to women owning our sexuality. Where I take issue, is that young girls are being sold a package of sexual goods they can neither understand nor afford at too early an age.

I have no answers. Only solidarity re the questions and the struggle.

By: Markus Laumann

Markus Laumann — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 06:16:32 +0000

As a father of 3 girls I worry about this all the time.

They’re not teenagers yet but my wife and I definitely try to guide them towards activities to make them active and confident women.

We don’t have cable in our house, but whenever I see the preteen “role models” on Disney fawning over boys and being complete air heads I vow to show them a different way to act. A way that’s more in line with what real young ladies and women should be.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go read Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters again…

By: kellydiels

kellydiels — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:55:54 +0000

I’m with you. I’m WITH you. My daughters are biracial, too – black daddy, white mama. And that makes the Bratz thing more palatable – because they do come in a range of skin colours, just like all of us – and disturbing, at the same time. Because don’t we already have enough of a narrative and a well of images about the hypersexualized, exotic, dark-skinned woman?

But yeah. What you said. And now I’m saying a bad word.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:38:59 +0000

Well, I’m new here, so I’ll spare you my normal mouthiness just yet. I did want to chime in on this discussion in both agreement and one little bitty sliver of dissent.

First the agreement: Amen to everything everyone has said so far. Amen, amen, amen! Seriously.

But… (and there’s always a but, somewhere…)

The one thing that the Bratz dolls give my daughter is a doll that she can identify with…and I’m talking about skin color.

My 10 y/o daughter is mixed (her daddy’s black, I’m white) and until the stupid Bratz came along, she could only find dolls in Target or Walmart that related to half of who she is. She could find white Barbies or black Barbies…white baby dolls, or black baby dolls. What do you tell your daughter in the middle of WalMart when she asks, “Mom – why don’t they make brown dolls like me?”

Enter the stupid Bratz dolls. One of them, I don’t know which by name…if someone were to create a caricature of my daughter, it would be this one. And, no surprise, my daughter wanted one.

So I gave in and got her one.

Thankfully, her interest in Bratz was short-lived. She’s all about Joe Jonas, now.

Oh yeah – from the pan to the fire…

By: Natalie Snapp

Natalie Snapp — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:55:47 +0000

Oh my word – thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! So I am not the only crazy one out there. I have an almost five year old daughter and I RUN past the Bratz section when we are at Target or any other place that sells them. They make me oh so angry and yes, they completely sexualize our baby girls FAR too early. No Bratz for my girl and I refuse to buy them for gifts, too! When I recently asked a mom what her daughter was into so we could purchase a birthday gift she would like, she told her little girl just loved Bratz. I refuse, so sorry. While I am up on my soapbox, I will also admit to balking at a shirt I saw recently that read “The only thing worse than school is my sister.” Nice…Stumbled upon your blog and am liking it – about to launch my own site (not ready yet) so I found your insights in your ProBlogger article helpful. Thanks!

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 22:13:44 +0000

I know we have discussed this at length. You did not slut shame your five year old. I am always conflicted about what I tell my girls (and my little man) about what is appropriate. The most amazing gift I can give my children is an example of a strong, assured woman. The boundaries and guidance given are only there to give them parameters to navigate this crazy world until they are able to make these calls for themselves. What my children wear is not so important as WHY they wear it. I want my girls to know and love and embrace themselves. I want them to go out in this world as intelligent young woman that can see through the crap that we are all bombarded with on a daily basis. When I became a mom to two amazing girls, I knew it was my job to teach them how to see past shallow images that are part of their every day lives. Basically, to cut through the crap. I LOVE that they can , and then occasionally call me on it when I am not practising what I preach (not loving that so much). I hope they see that their Daddy loves that I am fiesty,opinionated, smart, sassy and loving. I have not defined myself in order to get a man and keep a man. Who I am and what I am is the defining factor in what drew Tony to me. I want my son to truly value and respect women, and be attracted to girls that are strong and empowered, not doormats. He adores his sisters, and nothing can be a better example for him than his two spunky and wise sisters showing him the ropes (or tying him up with them when he pesters them too much).

By: Stephen

Stephen — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:00:23 +0000

An exchange between two girls in my first class:

Child A: Look at my picture of my mummy, isn’t it pretty?
Child B: Yes it is
Child A: My mum looks like a Bratz doll so she is pretty and your mummy doesn’t so she’s ugly.

They were both four! I was floored and wanted to point out to Child A that her mum was a complete bitch to boot but that is unprofessional! I hate Bratz dolls as much as hate t shirts for little girls that say stuff like hot chick. We do not need 5 year olds watching DVDs in which one of the boys talks about “all of the hotties in my black book” (this is true I bear witness!) I turned the DVD off on DVD day when I heard that line!

By: Lindsey

Lindsey — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:34:59 +0000

Oh, Kelly Kelly Kelly …
I struggle with this all the time. My daughter has internalized my dislike of Barbies to the degree that she just got rid of them. Hallelulia, right! But why do I dislike Barbie? I struggle to articulate it in ways that mean anything other than “she is fake and artificial and real women don’t look like that.”
I read her the Paper Bag Princess and talk abotu hwo she can be anything she wants but I also know I care about how I look and I go shopping and wear makeup … conflicted and inconsistent. Yeah, me too.
So, no answers here either. But really damn glad you are asking the questions.
Thanks.