Imaginary Boyfriends. The List.

My imaginary boyfriend list:

  1. Malcolm Gladwell
  2. Oprah Winfrey
  3. Dennis Haisbert (“Are you in good hands?” Yes, please.)
  4. Hunter S. Thompson
  5. Cory Booker
  6. This guy
  7. Dave Eggers
  8. Dave Doolin. He studiously ignores my affection but knows things about WordPress, is wildly generous with that knowledge and shows up for me (and you!) every day in every way.
  9. Romeo Dallaire
  10. Danielle LaPorte. I wept through a Firestarter. I read EVERYTHING she writes. We plot at the kitchen table. (I was her groupie and now we’re writing a book together!). She’s a goddess and a great friend.
  11. Barack Obama
  12. Michelle Obama
  13. Aaron Traister
  14. Tyler Perry
  15. John Chow
  16. John Helliwell
  17. John Cusack
  18. Josh Hanagarne (but he’s only my imaginary baby daddy. It is strictly a donor/eugenics thing because I want my hypothetical third child to be tall. Josh is a giant.)
  19. Joy Nash
  20. Heather Havrilevsky.  I could not love her more. Her writing about TV was so good I had to get cable.
  21. Teh Internets
  22. Google
  23. Darren Rowse for giving me a weekly gig which I read as “Encouragement”.
  24. Cary Tennis
  25. Amanda Farough (I mean, look at my newly revamped site! She is a design genius!)
  26. Muhammed Ali
  27. Ricardo Scipio
  28. Salon
  29. My sister’s husband. (I know. It is a little creepy. But he’s just that awesome.)
  30. My friend Heather’s husband (Again. A little creepy. But he warms bottles un-prompted and designs awesome PORN shirts and has facial hair groomed into precise lines. It can’t be helped)
  31. Heather herself
  32. Jenny. Because we have an imaginary t-shirt company together, she gets Gaga, and NO ONE can successfully stalk woo writers as well as her. She really is workinonaramp.
  33. Ani DiFranco
  34. Helen Fischer
  35. Sean Neprud aka Bad Deacon, who makes original woodblock prints that are so fine I had to make some mine (and keep one beside my bed).
  36. Penelope Trunk
  37. Kate Harding
  38. The Bloggess
  39. Rebecca Walker
  40. Joan Walsh
  41. Tyrone. All Tyrones, everywhere, always.

updated March 13, 2010

December 1, 2009 | filed under: Love, People, Sex | tweet it, baby

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 1:01 am and is filed under Love, People, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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7 people have joined this conversation.

  1. AmandaNo Gravatar, December 1, 2009:

    Oh you. <3

    [Reply]

  2. Mike CJNo Gravatar, December 1, 2009:

    Distraught not to see my name there, but when I spotted John Chow’s I realized you weren’t being serious.

    I’m not sure which one of us should be worried, but four of your imaginary boyfriends are on my imaginary girlfriends list.

    [Reply]

    kellydielsNo Gravatar replied:
    on December 1st, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    @Mike CJ, it just means we both have great taste.

    [Reply]

  3. JulieNo Gravatar, December 1, 2009:

    I have two more for you…

    #37. Colin and Justin
    #38. Tommy…oh how I love Tommy. He is definitely top of my list to be my gay boyfriend. I don’t think #26 on your list likes it when I say that though.

    [Reply]

    kellydielsNo Gravatar replied:
    on December 1st, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    @Julie, How did I forget Colin and Justin. Oh I hope they’re not mad. I feel TERRIBLE. Maybe I’m having an identity crisis. Maybe my other personality wrote this list. Maybe my blog was hacked. How the hell did this happen?

    [Reply]

  4. CharlotteNo Gravatar, December 2, 2009:

    I love that The Internet made the list. :)

    [Reply]

  5. Ben GoheenNo Gravatar, December 4, 2009:

    I have a great story about your #3 boyfriend, but it’s way too long (that’s what she said) to post here. Email me if you want a great laugh about the Allstate guy.

    [Reply]

    kellydielsNo Gravatar replied:
    on December 4th, 2009 at 7:56 am

    I emailed you. YOU MUST SPILL.

    [Reply]

  6. Dave DoolinNo Gravatar, March 13, 2010:

    Some virtual smooches for you muah muah.

    Now that Blogistan has been subdued, World Domination is close at hand.

    [Reply]

  7. DeaconNo Gravatar, March 13, 2010:

    [pitter pat]

    kisses :)

    [Reply]

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