Fresh banana bread on the first visit to their place? Make.

Invited to share a bath on the fifth visit to their place? Make.

Watching them use the toilet brush to scrub the bathtub? There’s no good way to address this after you’ve shared so much. But you can’t sneak away. You can’t jump out of the window once the candles are burning and the light is low. You can’t ease into boiling hot water either.

There’s only one solution and it’s not honesty or cleanliness: Fake an injury that needs ice, not heat. Twist an ankle when you stand up and hop around like your foot’s on fire. Displaying such a high level of drama is a Break for the other person. Just remember to limp for a few days. Don’t expect a cookie, or an Oscar.

Sad (but true) story.