Yesterday I had a panic attack. I haven’t had one in a million years. Well, at least two. I know what it was about; I know how to fix it; it will be done; and oh yes, I will write about it. Soon.
So I’m thinking about panic. Fear. Nerves. Butterflies. And I’m a-wondering: what do butterflies tell you? Do you trust them? Do you need them?
In life, and in love, I’m all about the passion, the moju, the juju, the juice. But I’m questioning butterflies. They’re kinda fun, but I’m not sure they are arrows pointing out appropriate directions. The butterflies are sexy and I spend a lot of time chasing them but when I think about my big loves, they never started with butterflies. They usually start with a recognition, an “I know you” or “I need to know you” or a “yes! finally! here you are!” or a soul-clap of friendship.
So tell me: what do you think about butterflies and love? Do you need them or note them as they fly by?
Question Butterflies. Question: Butterflies?
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I think butterflies are good indicators of deeper desires. My husband and I have been married for two years and the butterflies come and go but I’ve learned to pay more attention to the flowers they rest upon. The passion, the love and respect that bloom everyday.
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The butterflies are usually just the indicator that my intuition is at work – and big time! The issue then becomes one of paying attention to that, to my gut, to what I know that I know that I know vs. following after something beautiful, but flighty…I’m all about the beauty – but want it grounded. I want something/someone that will last, that matters, that has substance.
So, butterflies are good – but not everything. They need to land.
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Not sure about butterflies but you should always trust your gut instincts!
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For me, butterflies either indicate excitement or danger in a relationship. Honestly, a good relationship needs to have a bit of both. Neither lasts forever so heed the butterflies as they flutter and fuhgedaboutit when they don’t.
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Stephen, Ronna, Vanessa, Amanda: Thanks for all the comments – I will be writing a follow up piece based on your answers (and of course my thoughts, now that the fog of the panic attack has cleared.)
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Interesting about the butterflies. I think of the nervous feelings one gets about some event or person more like caterpillars. Having a full life experience that results is the butterfly.
When I get anxious, I get sick to my stomach, so I don’t feel like there’s anything inside of me except for my own anxiety.
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The butterflies usually accompany the “I need to know everything about you” feeling. I think my butterflies stem from the risk associated with wanting to invest in someone.
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Ending a Good Thing for an Even Better Reason. Almost.
I’m ending a relationship because I’m fat. We have passionate, easy, hours-long conversations, warmth, affection, respect, and outrageous sex. OUTRAGEOUS. Friendship, respect and hot sex: a pretty great foundation, right? What more can I ask for?Everything.Neither of us have butterflies. We were intensely comfortable with each other, right away. We’re both romantics, so naturally this worries us. Where is the infatuation? What does the lack of infatuation mean? Where can this go if it doesn’t start with addiction-like chemical highs? I asked around. Lots of people seemed to think this is no …
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this post resonated with me. i consider myself passionate & joyful. I ‘fell’ for my BF (two years since our first date as of TODAY!) almost instantly, but it was never butterflies. it was a recognition, an excited hopped up feeling by email, and when I met him, excited in person, too. but really, it was about feeling that i met the person i could truly co-exist with, and being careful for the ensuing weeks that i wasn’t imaginging it and that he returned my feelings.
i was right, but there was never really a process of ‘falling in love’ like i had previously experienced. yet this is the best, most dedicated, functional, fun, warm & cool relationship i’ve ever experienced (and it is not without its problems & elephants in the room). i too have worried if i was mis-reading signals and if the lack of ‘fall -hard ‘ stuff meant there was something lacking that i was unaware of. my conclusion has ever been & remains this. if i’m missing something, i’m certainly unaware of it. my cup runneth over. and since we all live in the crux of our present, with a hopeful future, is anything more needed? Sorry for the long reply. I am really enjoying your blog.
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Jillian, thank you so much for your thoughtful, heartfelt observations. Your story lands with me. Fingers crossed
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I also suffer from panic attacks and i can manage it by deep and slow breathing. i also practice meditation.. *
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