It has been done to death, already and yet I just can’t resist: I have to comment on Miley Cyrus on the pole (admittedly, she was more near-ish the pole than ‘on’ it).
Here is the bandwagon that I am NOT on:
oh she’s sixteen, she’s too young, oh the loss of purity, let’s wail and gnash our teeth and mourn her corrupted innocence…
Nope. That’s not my issue. In fact, I think it is incredibly problematic that we structure women’s emerging sexuality and sexual power as a ‘loss’ – a loss of innocence, of virginity, of purity. My problem is not that Miley Cyrus is (apparently) embracing or flaunting her sexuality – my problem is that I doubt that she is. Instead, I think her team of handlers – including her father – have consciously plotted out the Britney Spears path to stardom and are marketing the hell out of her apparent burgeoning womanhood.
Someone else deciding that you are a woman and then proceeding to map and market your sexuality is the polar opposite of empowerment.
So that’s the wagon I want to fix: it isn’t Miley Cyrus’ growing sense of self and sexuality we’re seeing. Her newfound womanhood has – I suspect – been scripted for her. This makes me sad. I would just seriously, seriously love for there to be some mainstream images of women – including young women – truly inhabiting themselves and their sexual power – on or off the pole.
I know, I know. I’m not supposed to say that. Feminists are supposed to be aghast at the pole. It is the spectre that haunts parents: we must keep kids off pipes and poles. That’s the mission. The pole represents sex work. Sex work equals degradation. And nobody wants that for their daughters – me included.
But I think we could take that formulation apart. Maybe if we started at the beginning, and didn’t think that having sex represents a ‘loss’ for women then maybe we wouldn’t automatically permit ourselves to consider sex workers as degraded or ‘fallen’ women. And maybe if we didn’t stigmatize sex workers then a shadowy realm where violence against women is the norm would dissipate in the light of respect accorded to all women, not just the ‘pure’ ones.
Because, I ask you, really what is the difference between sixteen year old Miley Cyrus being pimped out by her Daddy in her booty shorts on the pole in front of the world, and the sixteen year old with fake ID on the pole in a club trying to make rent because her Daddy kicked her out?
The difference is money. And social support. And there are a lot of young woman out there who need both of those a whole lot more than Ms. Miley Cyrus, and stigmatizing them for marketing and profiting from their sexuality is heartless, wrong, and hypocritical. Because let’s be honest: it isn’t permissable in our society for women not to be sexy or attractive.
Most women I know are marketing their sexuality on a daily basis – in the office, at the gym, just walking through daily life. I know I am. I smile pretty. I flirt. I flat-iron my hair. And so do you.
And that is okay. I’m comfortable soliciting attention. I own the skin I’m in and I’m safe and sexy there and I wish all women could say the same.
Hi Kelly,
Saw Josh H’s Twitter about you being a terrific writer, so I thought I’d check you out, and he was right!!
Anyway, I agree that Miley Cyrus is being exploited by her father, and all the other Hollywood powers-that-be. And it is sad.
The problem is that we live in a society that demeans women. We see so many comments on weight, boobs, and everything else to objectify women, but there’s an imbalance in that we don’t see the same issues regarding men. The result is a society where girls are anorexic or bulemic, etc.
Like you, I am very comfortable in my body. As a breast cancer survivor who has had a double mastectomy with reconstruction, I have become very aware of how we live in such a breast-obsessed landscape.
It’s great to be proud of one’s breasts and to be openly proud of them. But it’s another to gossip about who has the perkiest breasts.
Women are objectified in so many aspects of our society; that’s why Miley Cyrus is now, too, being objectified. She’s only 16 and doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing. When I was sixteen I was clueless.
Anyway, just wanted to vent. Your writing style and posting are excellent!!
[Reply]
Hi Beth. Thanks so much for your comment. We are totally on the same page: I’m worrying about all of these things and I think we, as society, are constructing and enforcing a kind of body fascism in which no woman, at any time, measures up. Oh you’re too thin. Oh you’re too fat. Oh you’re too busty. Oh you should exercise (for your health, doncha know). Oh you’re obsessed with exercising and now you’re veiny and scary. Oh you’re not busty enough. Oh you’re ashamed of your body. Oh you’re flaunting your assets. There is no winning this game so I think we should change the rules. Like yesterday.
I kind of paused, too, to accept your praise. Because umm in the post that precedes this one, I kinda sorta encourage ogling/gossiping about my breasts and is apropos of nothing except meandering, experimental, let-the-prose-take-you-where-it-goes (but don’t take it TOO seriously)journey. So maybe now you take back all your kind words as I am complicit in tending this breast obsessed landscape. But please come back and say so
[Reply]