Comments on: Mamafesto. Unfinished. In progress. Just Like the Kids, and Me. http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me Cleavage is about the three things everyone wants more of: sex, money and meaning. Kelly Diels is writing through the lines that shape us. Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:52:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Hannah Marcotti http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-33644 Hannah Marcotti Wed, 16 Feb 2011 19:28:45 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-33644 I am happy to have discovered you. Now I have one more thing to read while sticking my two year old infront of scooby doo. I am happy to have discovered you. Now I have one more thing to read while sticking my two year old infront of scooby doo.

]]> By: Stephen Kelly http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-374 Stephen Kelly Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:59:56 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-374 Being able to wing it and get away with it is the true mark of a professional ;-) One of the best tools in my kit! Being able to wing it and get away with it is the true mark of a professional ;-) One of the best tools in my kit!

]]> By: Beth L. Gainer http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-373 Beth L. Gainer Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:20:47 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-373 Hey Kelly,<br /><br />I agree with your poiints: In fact, I hate it when people brag about their kids being gorgeous, brilliant, whatever. I agree that what's important is to compliment competence and effort.<br /><br />I adopted a baby girl from China about 1.5 months ago and plan to instill in her pride for her accomplishments and trying her best, rather than who is more beautiful, intelligent, etc.<br /><br />BTW, ever see that program about kids in beauty pageants? I just saw it advertised, and it was CREEPY. It's all about the parents' self-esteem, and these individuals believe they are failures, so they want to brag using their kids.<br /><br />Actually, the parents are failures. Hey Kelly,

I agree with your poiints: In fact, I hate it when people brag about their kids being gorgeous, brilliant, whatever. I agree that what’s important is to compliment competence and effort.

I adopted a baby girl from China about 1.5 months ago and plan to instill in her pride for her accomplishments and trying her best, rather than who is more beautiful, intelligent, etc.

BTW, ever see that program about kids in beauty pageants? I just saw it advertised, and it was CREEPY. It’s all about the parents’ self-esteem, and these individuals believe they are failures, so they want to brag using their kids.

Actually, the parents are failures.

]]> By: Monica http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-372 Monica Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:19:56 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-372 I am guilty of breaking all of your rules, I was a much better parent before I had kids... it is a slippery slope to crazy-mom town (a place I promised myself I would never visit) and I have managed to strap on some well waxed skis. I am guilty of breaking all of your rules, I was a much better parent before I had kids… it is a slippery slope to crazy-mom town (a place I promised myself I would never visit) and I have managed to strap on some well waxed skis.

]]> By: Jen http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-371 Jen Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:50:31 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-371 This is my favorite blog that you have written! I like your point about not making children your world--it sounds harsh. But your children will have their own separate life from you. I love my children to death, but I have to worry about taking care of myself as well. I feel no shame in belonging to a book club and participating in sports, even though that takes time away from my young children. Some of my friends with children, and even my own mother, do not support my decision to be "selfish". <br /><br />I also agree that we should not spoil children with "stuff". Rather, we should take them places (hopefully free places!) and create memories. This is my favorite blog that you have written! I like your point about not making children your world–it sounds harsh. But your children will have their own separate life from you. I love my children to death, but I have to worry about taking care of myself as well. I feel no shame in belonging to a book club and participating in sports, even though that takes time away from my young children. Some of my friends with children, and even my own mother, do not support my decision to be “selfish”.

I also agree that we should not spoil children with “stuff”. Rather, we should take them places (hopefully free places!) and create memories.

]]> By: Kelly Diels http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-370 Kelly Diels Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:41:10 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-370 Stephen, your opinion means so much to me, because you're an actual 'expert' in this area: you're a teacher, and an amazing one at that. I'm just a rookie and honestly, I'm winging it. Fortunately, my kids seem not notice! Stephen, your opinion means so much to me, because you’re an actual ‘expert’ in this area: you’re a teacher, and an amazing one at that. I’m just a rookie and honestly, I’m winging it. Fortunately, my kids seem not notice!

]]> By: Stephen Kelly http://www.kellydiels.com/2009/08/10/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/comment-page-1/#comment-369 Stephen Kelly Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:01:25 +0000 http://www.violetminded.com/test/index.php/2009/08/mamafesto-unfinished-in-progress-just-like-the-kids-and-me/#comment-369 I was struck by two of your points in particular here. The first is point number 3 about praising children. Professionally, I have met some criticism because of what has been seen before as a lack of praise. I always end up having to defend myself and it's precisely because these children are over indulged with praise for doing nothing. I mean if a child in my class knows that 2+2=4 then that's good but it's hardly amazing yet I hear professional colleagues go all high pitched and excited praising someone for soemthing as simple as this. It is nauseating in the extreme! I shall stick to my method because when I praise a child they know they have done well!<br /><br />Second point is number 6 and something I was talking to a friend about the other day. My younger brother is a father of three all under 5. He's an excellent father but that's all he is now. He used to be so much fun and always up for a laugh and a joke but he hardly speaks to his friends and has lost a lot of his sparkle. Around the same time my brother had his son, my best abd oldest friend gave borth to a daughter. Now she is an excellent mother and her husband is an excellent father. They have both approached parenthood realising that they need their time. So they pack their daughter off to granny's place for the night and they go out with their friends to concerts, football, the pub, shopping - sometimes together, sometimes separately. Sometimes one goes out and the other stays at home but I really admire how they are as parents and I think their daughter is better off for it. She spends some excellent, quality time with her grandparents and has amazingly eclectic parents full of energy and life! I was struck by two of your points in particular here. The first is point number 3 about praising children. Professionally, I have met some criticism because of what has been seen before as a lack of praise. I always end up having to defend myself and it’s precisely because these children are over indulged with praise for doing nothing. I mean if a child in my class knows that 2+2=4 then that’s good but it’s hardly amazing yet I hear professional colleagues go all high pitched and excited praising someone for soemthing as simple as this. It is nauseating in the extreme! I shall stick to my method because when I praise a child they know they have done well!

Second point is number 6 and something I was talking to a friend about the other day. My younger brother is a father of three all under 5. He’s an excellent father but that’s all he is now. He used to be so much fun and always up for a laugh and a joke but he hardly speaks to his friends and has lost a lot of his sparkle. Around the same time my brother had his son, my best abd oldest friend gave borth to a daughter. Now she is an excellent mother and her husband is an excellent father. They have both approached parenthood realising that they need their time. So they pack their daughter off to granny’s place for the night and they go out with their friends to concerts, football, the pub, shopping – sometimes together, sometimes separately. Sometimes one goes out and the other stays at home but I really admire how they are as parents and I think their daughter is better off for it. She spends some excellent, quality time with her grandparents and has amazingly eclectic parents full of energy and life!

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