This post started in weird place (no, not there!).

I was reading up on dating in the hopes that I will (a) one day do it and (b) do it reasonably well. There were many articles aimed at men advising them how to handle women. There were many articles aimed at women appraising them of things that make men want to flee, things you should never EVER ask a man, and things that frighten men (these were long lists).

An interesting theme and practical point of advice emerged from both sets of articles. Women should never ask a man “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?”, and, if asked, men should feign sleep/heart attack/blindness.

This struck me as odd and revealing, and my initial “wow – weird” reaction led me to really think about and question my assumptions and beliefs about body image.

This post is the first of a series on Women and Body Image that will explore these issues. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll throw carrots.

Women And Body Image, Part 1

First, do women really ask their partners this?

I knew you were wondering, dear reader, so I conducted rigourous primary research to find out.

By ‘rigourous primary research’, I mean that I e-mailed ten women in my life to find out if they do in fact ask their men the infamous question: Does My Ass Look Fat in These Jeans?

Does My Ass Look Fat in These Jeans: The Survey

Method:
E-mailed ten women in my life to find out if they asked the men in their life: Does My Ass Look Fat in these Jeans?

The sample:
Ten women in my life. Not random, not representative. Go call the science police.

Results:
Of the ten women surveyed, nine women responded (90%). All those who responded were guaranteed anonymity. Heather Williamson of Surrey, BC, (e-mail me for her address, social insurance number and FICO score), was the only laggard who failed to answer.

Results:
Of the nine prompt and shockingly beautiful women who answered, three (33%) do indeed ask if their ass looks fat; four (44%) do not; and two (22%) waffled.

One woman, the aforementioned Heather Williamson of Surrey, BC, did not respond at all, but that is only because of a profound deficiency in her character. She also has a lazy eye.

Transcript of Responses:
A1.
I ask my female friends that all the time.
I have never asked my male flatmate that because I don’t need honesty that badly.
I have asked boyfriends. They go very pale.

A2.
No, I don’t ask that. I honestly don’t care. I occasionally make a comment about someone being pretty, and just in a factual way, and my husband looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

A3.
I asked my husband this one time. He gave me his honest answer( not the most wonderful outfit you have worn) and he asked me NEVER to ask him again. He says I am beautiful in whatever I wear, and he will tell me straight up if he thinks I should change my clothes, which he has not since then. It’s been 11 yrs since then and no clothing malfunctions.

A4.
ACTUALLY just asked my man this last weekend! And since he loves my curves he actually responds with that…and he will honestly tell me which outfit he prefers, and I am not playing games, I really do want an HONEST answer. I am a people watcher, i see the mistakes to be made, I prefer to not make them when I actually care.
If someone is your best friend they should be the best to you. Honesty is part of that. They should also know when you need a hug because all your pants that day, errr, aren’t quite right.

A5.
I don’t think I’ve ever asked that question to anyone. Maybe if something makes me look prego in my mind, I might ask and get an honest answer.

A6.
I don’t ask. My ass looks fat in jeans because it IS fat. I know this. I accept it, with varying degrees of success, depending on the day.

A7.
I do my best NOT to draw attention to my ass. It’s a big job!!!
Seriously, I shop alone, dress alone and make all these decisions alone.
Just the way I roll.

A8.
If my husband ever said any thing about my fat ass, I would kick his ass to the curb. I don’t ask and he doesn’t comment.
But no matter what size it is, he still loves to grab my ass and that is all that counts.

A9.
I ask… and the answer better be ‘hell ya! I like a big booty!’

Conclusion:
My darlings, we’ll leave on that bootylicious note.

Stay tuned for for my analysis of these results and what they say about the state of our society and the sizes of our respective asses.

In the meantime, feel free to comment on the size of my ass. Every body part that I’m proud of (booty, breasts, brain) is big.