For the last three Fat Fridays (see posts #1, #2, and #3), I have been exploring – ok, ranting – about size acceptance from the fat perspective, so let’s change things up a little and check in with the skinny folk.
Let’s pause, shall we, to celebrate the bravery of Ms. Stacey Diels, age 34 and uber fit, who bares all – her thoughts, her meals, her insecurities, her weight – to someone who has a history of deliberately making her feel stupid, inadequate, and superficial. That malicious person is me. Stacey is my sister.
Moment of silence, please.
Okay that wasn’t a minute, but no matter. Here we go.
KD: It’s time for our interview!
Stacey: Can you call me back in half an hour?I’m watching Jon and Kate plus 8.
KD: Ummm, ok.
KD: Ok so are you finished with Jon and Kate Plus Eight yet?
Stacey: No, but I’ll read about it later.
KD: Why, thank you!
Stacey: It is an hour episode..but it is all right.They’ll play it again.
KD: You know that Julie [our sister] is probably PVRing it right now, right?
Stacey: Probably. I have time-shifting too so I’ll just watch it again in three hours.
KD: Ok so how does it feel to be a hungry girl?
Stacey: A what?
KD: A hungry girl.I’m teasing you.
Stacey: Oh.Ok. Actually I am hungry quite often.
KD: Tell me about that.
Stacey: Well, that is only because I don’t eat full meals. I feel sick if I feel too full.I don’t know if it has anything to do with me wanting to be thin, or da-dee-da-da-da, or just that the urges of my body have built to this spot in life…
KD: You feel sick?Mentally or emotionally?
Stacey: My body rejects it.My body only wants enough to keep going.I don’t like to be heavy, like when you eat red meat or something and then your body is like uhhh afterwards. But I love to snack. Actually, my boyfriend calls me “Snacks”.Literally, he said “I’m just going to carry a granola bar so you will keep going”.Because we walk, we went kayaking, golfing, and when we’re out, he does this thing I call “shnieking” me out of food.Like he will say, “Oh look, they have a tee time right now if we take it.”And I’ll be like, “I thought we were going to eat something”.And he will just say – “Oh we’ll eat later”, because he’s like a camel or something.So now he just carries snacks and I’m a happy girl.
KD: So tell me – what’s your take on the world and fitness and what do you think people should know about being thin?
Stacey: Well, I definitely think that people should not think about depriving themselves.They should think of food as the means for your machine.You need to put the proper things in it. If you put bad oil in your car, it is not going to function as it should, and over time it is just going to get slower and not be as functional.It is all connected – what your moods are, everything.
KD: Would you say that thin people eat better than fat people?
Stacey: Mmmm not necessarily.You know, there are lots of thin unhealthy people out there.
KD: Amen, sister.
Stacey: You can basically tell that by when someone is naked, more so than anything else.
KD: Oh, really? Do you do that often?
Stacey: No, I don’t get people naked.
KD: Mom will be happy to hear that.
Stacey: You don’t have to be skinny, per se, to be fit.
KD: Totally true.
Stacey: You can tell a healthy person because they have a glow to them, they have good energy, you can just tell the difference. They don’t have bags under their eyes…
KD: Do people comment on your size, or your fitness or your body in welcome or unwelcome ways?
Stacey: Oh both. Oh definitely. Both.
KD: How so?
Stacey: I think definitely women notice more, comment more.
KD: Do they comment to your face?
Stacey: Yeah, for sure. I think women who have been there and wish they would be there again, and who are confident that they are going to get back there again – they’re like “Geez I used to wear yoga pants like that…” or will say something sweet like that, in a really positive way.
KD: Not bitchy.
Stacey: That happens too. You get the sneer.The glance and the glance away quick, like “No, I didn’t really look at you because then you might think that you’re good looking or something.”But I don’t really worry about it.I definitely feel it.It is a weird thing. I can sense it.You can sense anyone or anything once you’re in tune with everything.
KD: A singer I like, Ani Di Franco, has a line in one of her songs that goes “Everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.” Do you feel like that?
Stacey: I don’t think I ever feel like that.I think I feel like I love to see people who look better than me!
KD: But do you think people look at you and think “skinny bitch”?
Stacey: Sure, just like I think some people say that about smart people or funny people – like “Oh I wish I was that funny or that smart…”
KD: We’ll always find something to hate on.
Stacey: Exactly! Whatever you perceive your weakness to be…that’s what you hone in on.
KD: Do you feel that you have made any sacrifices to be as thin and as fit as you are?
Stacey: I can honestly say I’m not the best cook that I could and should be, just because there are so many foods I would never make.
KD: Like what?
Stacey: Like fried chicken…there are just so many foods that there is absolutely no reason we should consume.
KD: Dude. What are you going to eat the family picnic?
Stacey: Not that.I’ll drink a lot of coolers.
KD: Do you starve yourself?
Stacey: I don’t starve myself but I think you should be hungry a lot of times during the day.That is your body telling you it is time to refuel.But you refuel with something good. I eat a ton of nuts.You don’t have to cook anything, prepare anything, I can wake up late in the morning…I just have a stack of nuts at my desk.
KD: Do you feel superior to people who are not as thin as you?Be honest, woman.
Stacey: No, I wouldn’t say that, but I can say that I have fat phobias.
KD: What do you mean?
Stacey: Sometimes, when I am having a fat day and then I see someone eating something unhealthy, that’s my cue – that’s my kick in the ass to get rid of whatever it is and not eat it. It is a will power thing.I don’t feel superior, but sometimes I just want to go over there and help them.
KD: Honey, that’s superior.
Stacey: I just want to go over and give them some positive energy.I mean, I wish smarter people would do that to me.
KD: I do that to you all time.
KD: You’re supposed to say “Fuck You” to that.
Stacey: I get that all the time! My boyfriend tells me all the time I’m incorrect.That’s what I love about him.He’s smarter than me.
KD: On the whole boyfriend and body image thing…has your body ever been a barrier in a relationship? Have you ever felt that someone has been with you but not really attracted to your body?
Stacey: I don’t think it has been a barrier.
KD: I would have to agree with you.
Stacey: I’m the only barrier.You have good days and bad days. And I would say that if I feel good about myself and I feel fit that day…and whether that be because I walked for an hour and my legs feel hard, even it is only for a four hour session, then I’m a better girlfriend, because he can come up to me and hug me and kiss me and do the things that he wants to do to show me his love.When I feel good about myself, I embrace it.
KD: Is your self esteem tied to your body image?
Stacey: Some days.Some days.You know what? I’m kind of at a spot in my life where I would love to lose ten pounds.It is not even about weight, really, I would just love to be fitter, and I know have been fitter. But I know I feel good and I look good and it is not perfect but I am comfortable with that. But I always want to be better, for myself.
KD: What is your typical day like in terms of activity, meal plans…
Stacey: I usually have a little bit of yoghurt…it is not really breakfast though because I’ve never been a breakfast person…yoghurt, tea, definitely nuts, or raisins, or cheese on apples….I love to snack, I really do. I’d like to not work so I could just snack every couple of hours.
KD: Now for the big questions.How much do you weigh?
Stacey: I have a range, usually between 129 and 133 pounds. [Stacey is 5’3”]
KD: How many calories do you eat in a day?
Stacey: I have no idea.
At this point my MP3 of our conversation abruptly ends because I am a super journalist and clearly have not mastered the tools of my not-trade.
Stacey and I went on to talk about genetics vs lifestyle (both are at work); whether diets work (yes); where fitness/being thin/health ranks on her list of priorities (#1); and then her boyfriend called long distance and trumped family ties.
So we’ll just leave it at that.Stacey, you’re a brave sister.Thanks for the naked skinny truth.